Permission Granted (Levi x Oc)
by SwindlerSwindled
Summary: The first fourteen years of Onyx Bently's life have focused on keeping her little brother out of harm's way; harder than it sounds, pickpocketting in the slums of Wall Sina. When her last name grabs the attention of the newly promoted Erwin Smith, is she willing to risk everything to keep her brother healthy and happy, or will the short lives they've lead come to a screeching halt?
1. Prologue

_It's snowing?_

 _My eyes drifted up, fluttering as I focused on keeping them open. White dots landed in my lashes. I wanted to raise my hand, to feel the flakes before they tarnished on the ground. But I was so tired._

 _The white powder landed on the tip of my nose._

 _Oh._

 _Ash._

 _That's when I noticed the searing pain in my shoulder. I turned my head to the left, trailing my eyes down to the pool of red surrounding what was left of my arm. I tried to move my toes, only to be met with a sudden jolt to my lower back, causing me to cry out._

 _My ears ringing,Itried to move my remaining arm to feel for the injury, but found it trapped in something. I wanted to cry out of sheer frustration._

 _How did I get here?_

 _I turned to free my hand, only to be met with the blank, grey eyes of its captor. A small sound choked its way from my throat._

 _His eyes were never so empty._

 _Levi..._

 **Year 842**

"Oi! Bastards! Let GO of ME!" I kicked up into the air, throwing myself backwards in hopes I'd knock myself from their grip. Instead, I only managed to whack my forehead into one of those stupid metal boxes they carried on their belts. One of the guys stopped yelling at me long enough to knock on the simple oak door in front of us. I wasn't paying enough attention to him to hear the response, too busy trying to wave away the little birdies circling my pupils, but the men restraining me wasted no time in ripping open the door and tossing me inside.

I landed in an undignified heap on the floor, taking a small second to wallow in self pity before dragging myself up into a sitting position. I scanned over the room I'd been thrown in. It looked to be an office of some sorts. Every inch of wall was hidden by bookshelves, all surrounding the single desk I was laying in front of. A towering window replaced the only wall free from stacks of novels. Taking a closer look outside told me I was somewhere surrounded by forests and...soldiers?

Shit.

"Hello, Ms. Bently,"

" **AHHH**!"

I jumped up in surprise, slamming my head into the desk above me, and falling back onto my butt. I glared up at the owner of the voice, calming the second bump currently forming on my head. He stared at me from his desk chair, his features schooled into seriousness but amusement glinting in his eye. My eyes immediately shot to the gleaming silver badge on his chest, my fingers itching. He wore the official Survey Corps uniform, making me tense, and his blonde locks were combed back to reveal brilliant blue eyes. And some hella bushy eyebrows.

I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest defiantly. "It wasn't me." I snarked.

A titan-sized eyebrow quirked up in intrigue. "Oh? And tell me, Ms. Bently, what exact events you are referring to?"

I froze. Was he trying to get me to admit to something more? How was I even supposed to know what they brought me in for? Honestly, I've done so much shit to Military Police troops I couldn't even pick out the most recent. I stood, taking care to watch my head, and clenched my fists. Besides, this wasn't just about me. I couldn't go to jail. I'm the only thing stopping my little brother from ending up as a servant for some rich pig somewhere. Or worse. Being sent to the Underground.

"Why am I here?" I asked, deadly serious.

His eyes dulled once again, his entire being screaming business. He stood, marching to the bookshelf closest to his right. His fingers brushed over several books before he found the one he needed, removing it from its home. He opened the book right to the correct page, I suppose, because he instantly began reading.

"' _Mission Report, November 13, Year 836. On the 24th expedition beyond the walls, the formation was taken by surprise by a herd of Aberrants on the right flank. Do to a seeming inability to follow direct orders, Captain Hentrow Peynt instructed his squad to lead the titans back away from the formation through way of baiting_ ," My eyes narrowed dangerously at him as he continued, rage building up inside my chest. " _Do to this unfortunate order, the entirety of Squads Peynt, Leyroy, and Mantilda were wiped out, leaving a path to the center of the formation wide open and without defense_ ," My body began to tremble, my nails close to drawing blood from my palms in an attempt to keep calm. " _Squads King and Lorance were able to defeat the remaining Aberrants, but not without heavy losses. Among those losses were the mission itself and our Eleventh Commander,_ " Blue eyes met flaming bronze. " _Jonah Bently._ "

Tense silence followed his account.

My mouth seemed to have gone dry during his reading.

"What do you want from me," I croaked.

He frowned, studying my expression. "You have quite the reputation in Wall Sina."

I pulled my gaze from his to glance down at the badge I currently held in my palm. He looked slightly alarmed, his eyes shooting between my hand and the empty spot on his jacket. I heard him mutter something along the lines of "When did she...?"

"What's your point? I don't have all day," I snapped, uncharacteristically angry.

Something like recognition flashed in his eyes at my hostility. He cleared his throat. "Well, Ms. Bently, I have what you may call a hunch," He paused, causing me to roll my eyes. What a drama queen. "About a year ago, I encountered a sixteen year old boy and his band of misfits in the Underground City. They were criminals, used to doing the dirty work and desperate for an escape from their way of life. I saw something. So I recruited them. And now," He stepped in front of me. "That boy has become one of our top soldiers." I raised an eyebrow and cocked a hip, trying my best to show him exactly how many fucks I was willing to give. He smirked at my cheek. "All of that, because I saw potential. Potential that I now see in you."

His monologue left me unimpressed. I snorted. "Yeah, right. I'm a Bently; I can smell bullshit from a mile away." He twitched in irritation at my vulgar language but didn't comment. "You want me here as a project."

He hummed in thought, looking out the giant window by his desk. Finally, he chuckled. "Maybe. That doesn't change anything, though, does it?"

"Meaning?"

"You still need an opportunity."

My eyes widened.

He smirked at my reaction, continuing. "Your brother. Asikah? He's, what? Five years old? Far too young to help with any substantially paid jobs. And even if he found one, would you really be willing to let him off on his own while you went and picked pockets?" He pointed out. I grit my teeth, dropping my gaze. "Completely ignoring the example that sets for him, where are you two living right now? A barn? Some old basement? Do you even have blankets?"

Rage flared up inside me as I shouted back, "Leave Asikah out of this! This isn't about him!" I failed to hide the tremor in my voice as I spoke my brother's name.

He didn't let up, his voice growing harsher as my resolve grew weaker. "On the contrary, this is _entirely_ about him. What happens in the winter, when the floorboards crack and his toes turn blue? What happens in autumn, when food prices raise and he goes to bed hungry? What happens when you pick the _wrong person's basement_?"

"Stop!!"

"How will you look him in the eye? How will you explain why he doesn't _get_ a birthday cake? Why his tummy hurts? Why the roof creaks at night? Why he can't feel his legs?" My eyes searched frantically on the floor for some sort of answer to be written. I had thought of these things before. Of course I had. I just thought we'd get by. We always had...

Flashes of a cold winter overtake my mind. Snuggling Asikah close to me, trying to give over all of my body heat to keep his three year old body breathing. Burning what was left of his baby toys to make even the smallest amount of heat. Telling him to close his eyes while I fought with another kid over his baby blanket so we wouldn't freeze to death on Christmas Eve.

I was supposed to be his sister. I was supposed to take care of him. At the rate we were going, he wouldn't make it to see his sixth year.

Eyebrows had stopped talking and was looking down at me with a stern expression. I winced. That was the only look I'd ever gotten from my father.

"Alright," I muttered. He smiled a smug grin and held out a hand.

"Commander Erwin Smith," He said strongly. I swallowed my pride, accepting his hand. "Welcome to the Survey Corps, Onyx Bently."

 **/AN/**

 **This story begins a few years before the fall of Shiganshina. At this point in my story, Nyx is about to turn fifteen and Levi is seventeen (They'll be into their twenties by the time I catch up to the anime). I decided to change around ages to better fit my story, if you don't like it you can feel free to ignore that detail.**

 **Oc's of mine will be scattered throughout the story, but none of them will cause the plot to diverge from the original once I catch up to the anime.**

 **This is one of my first stories, and I am incredibly out of practice, so I would highly appreciate any feedback you're willing to give! :D**


	2. Four Centimeters

"Sounds pretty straightforward..." I muttered, watching the soldiers swing through the trees. The mechanical whirring of the 3DM gear had my muscles tense. This was a lot more nerve racking than I had thought.

"You'll be fine," My instructor assured me. I couldn't for the life of me remember her name. French? Francis? "You did great balancing in your harness. This shouldn't be too much harder." I gulped but shakily returned her smile. She nodded at me, firing out one of her hooks and motioning me to follow her.

"Now or never, I suppose," I pulled the trigger on the blade handle, startling slightly as a grapple shot out of my gear and latched itself to the top of a tree trunk. I felt the gas release and was suddenly in the air. I landed clumsily on the tree, looking to...Fran(!) for reassurance. She nodded her approval, this time shooting out two grapples in a row. I sighed and readied myself to copy her. This was going to be a long day.

 **/One Week Later/**

 _Fire. Latch. Swing. Fire. Latch. Swing. Fire. Latch. Swing. Land. Unhook._

I stood on the highest branch of a tree, a grin splitting my features in two. I had expected to be absolutely terrified of using this gear, but I found it being my new favorite thing in the world.

I let myself tip backwards, free falling for a moment before firing off my gear once more. However, I wasn't swinging long before a large wooden dummy swung itself into my path. I eyed the pillow that adorned the neck area of the humanoid cutout, adjusting my grip on my blades like Fran had instructed. They felt awkward and heavy, and yet I felt more sure of myself than ever before.

I sliced at the practice nape, smirking when I made a wide cut in the fabric. I changed my course and headed for the next one. It was the last one of the course, if I had counted correctly. I slashed at it, slicing it just like the previous, and turned back towards the entrance of the forest. I landed in the grass right in front of Fran, releasing the tension in my shoulders and sheathing my blades.

She nodded in approval, marking something down on her clipboard. "Good time." She noted, flashing me a smile. She looked up from the spreadsheet she was scanning. "I have to say, that was an impressive first run. You got here faster than most of our cadets."

My lips twitched up as I fought to withhold a smirk. As a thief in Wall Sina of all places, I had to value agility above all else. I cleared my throat to keep back a chuckle, meeting her knowing gaze. "So, what's next?"

"Well," She said. "We'll be continuing this until you reach a PK (Practice Kill) Count of 48. And, after that first run, you're at--"

"Zero."

Fran and I both looked over at the new voice. A guy stood there, gear on and shoulders stiff. He had dark hair that was neatly combed out, his uniform utterly spotless even after a day of training. I analyzed him, an action he seemed to be returning. He looked to be a couple years older than me, three at the most. He was shorter than most of the men here, although he still had a couple inches on me.

Irritation tickled my mind as he interrupted us. "Excuse me?" I asked, trying to keep my voice calm.

"Zero." He said again without explanation. Fran glanced between him and the forest, chewing her pen in consideration. "Her slices were inadequate."

"What?!"

"Not a single attack would have been fatal,"

"What are you talking about?! Those cuts were perfect!"

He turned to me, his glare dark enough to burn out the sun. "Perfect for a half-wit pickpocket," He said evenly.

I glared ferociously at him, grinding my teeth at being mocked. I opened my mouth to snap back at him, only for Fran's hand to pinch at my shoulder in an attempt to shut me up. I shifted my glare back at her, but she wasn't looking my way. Instead, her focus was on the clipboard in her hand.

"What were the measurements, Levi?"

His blank eyes shifted onto her. "Her slashes were four centimeters shallow."

Fran tsked quietly, scratching out her previous note. I jumped to my own defense.

"Woah, woah, there are specific measurements? How was I supposed to know that?" I asked defensively.

Levi turned and glared at me coolly. "You were supposed to use your head."

"But how can I do that without any instruction?!" I snipped back.

Had I not been so used to ignoring glares, I'm sure I would've pissed myself by now.

"Were you expecting to be spoon fed?" He spat.

"I was expecting to be taught!"

"What kind of game do you think you're in?"

I faltered at his serious tone. "I-I don't-"

"No one is going to be there to remind you how to kill when your squad is surrounded by titans." He growled.

I opened my mouth, but thought better and shut it tight. My head was running through scenarios, each looking scarily close to my father's death. I promised Asikah I wouldn't end up like him.

 **/Two days before/**

 _"But, where are you going?" Asikah squeaked, latching all of his limbs onto my right leg._

 _I smiled at his antics, but my mood quickly dissolved as I remembered my purpose here. I knelt_ _down before him, gently unwinding the five-year old from around my leg. "I'm not going anywhere yet. But, we're going to move somewhere nicer. This nice man," I gestured to Erwin, who stood about ten feet behind me. "Has a place we can live and be safe."_

 _Asi blinked owlishly at me. "So...you aren't going anywhere?"_

 _I bit my lip guiltily. I considered just lying to him to keep back the fear and disappointment I was sure to see at my confession. The thought caused me to mentally slap myself. No way in hell was I lying to family. "Actually, Asi..."_

 _How was I supposed to phrase this? 'Oh, sorry, bud! I'm off to get myself eaten by some shit-faced monster while you get put in some strict military home_ _somewhere. Don't worry, they have biscuits'?_

 _"I joined the Survey Corps." I said softly, not even sure if he knew what that was._

 _Looking up at his face, I found my question answered. His eyes ha_ _d gone sparkly, his jaw nearly smacking the concrete. "You...YOU'RE GOING OUTSIDE THE WALLS? YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT THE MONSTERS? THAT'S SO COOL! CAN I COME? HAVE YOU BEEN YET? WHEN ARE YOU GOING? ARE THERE A LOT OF STRONG MUSCLY GUYS? I BET THOSE-" His rambling went on for a few more minutes, during which time I was in a similar state as Asi previously was. I'd spent the entire ride up here imagining every worst-case-scenario. I chuckled. I'll never understand this kid._

 _Standing, I looked to Erwin, who seemed to be observing my kid brother run circles around the room with an amused interest. "So?"_

 _He looked to me, nodding. As Asi ran past me, I caught him by the shoulders and hoisted him over my back, laughing evilly as his playful screams were muffled by my tunic._

 _"Let's go home, huh?"_

 _Asi's laughter settled down and he relaxed on my shoulder. I felt his small hands tugging at my greasy black hair. "Hey, big sis?"_

 _"Yeah, bud?"_

 _Asi was silent for a moment, completely out of character for him. "You're coming back, right? Cause Daddy..."_

 _I shifted his small body off my shoulder and onto my hip to see his eyes. My arms protested. (He was getting too big to hold like that.) "I'm coming home, Asikah," He nodded, burying his face into my shoulder._

 _"I am."_

 **/Present/**

Levi must have taken my silence as an answer, cause, by the time I refocused my mind, he was stalking back to headquarters, dusting off his blades with a white handkerchief. I cleared my throat again, this time to distract from my humiliation, and turned to Fran, resolve steeled in my eyes.

"When can I re-run it?"

 **(3rd Person)**

A loud knock drew the commander's attention from the paperwork that was currently melting his brain cells.

"Erwin." Levi's voice demanded, though slightly muffled by the closed door.

"Come in," Erwin called, returning his gaze to the documents. He wanted to slam his head into the desk until they just... _*poof!*_

Levi entered, striding up to his desk and crossing his arms. The two of them were past salutes; Levi was one of his most trusted soldiers. He stayed silent, an unimpressed scowl directed at his commander.

Erwin raised his eyebrows, asking for a response. "Well?" He asked.

"She's a brat." Levi stated without any hesitation.

Erwin chuckled. "Yes, I am aware. How was she doing in training, I mean?"

Levi tsked, turning his head stubbornly. "Why don't you just ask Fran?"

"I intend to. However, it seems Fran has quickly become fond of Onyx," He ignored Levi's scoff. "I wish to hear both sides of the observation."

Levi blinked, wanting to argue but not really knowing why. He leaned against Erwin's desk, looking up in thought. "She has flawless form when she maneuvers. Definitely one of the fastest I've ever seen." He paused, pushing down his annoyance at having to compliment to brat. "But she gets overconfident. All of her slashes today were way too shallow. If she were on a real mission, she would be dead."

Erwin nodded thoughtfully. He clicked his tongue, folding his hands in front of his mouth. "What's her PK Count?"

Levi glared out the window in the direction of the training fields. "Zero."

Erwin hummed. "It's her first run on the 3DM gear. I didn't expect much more than that."

"On my first run, I was on par with an entire squad of veterans." Levi remarked, raising his eyebrow quizzically.

Erwin laughed. "Yes," He looked in the same direction as Levi, watching his new recruit slicing through the practice napes in a row, the raven haired girl getting visibly frustrated with the shallow cuts she was making. "But you were familiar with the gear already. Nyx has crammed three years worth of training into seven days so far." He patted the book containing the mission reports from year 836. "She's an incredibly fast learner. She got that from her father."

Levi looked over, somewhat curious. "Her father?"

Erwin nodded. "Jonah Bently, Eleventh Commander of the Survey Corps. He was the first Commander to die before a replacement had been selected, that's why Commander Shadis was instated so quickly."

Levi studied him, grim realization dawning in his expressionless eyes. "So she's here as a project."

Erwin smirked at the familiar phrasing. "No. She's here as a Legacy."

 **(1st Person: Onyx)**

Fran and I trained for the rest of that day. And all of the next day. And for the next two weeks after that. I became more and more frustrated with my attacks. Every slice I made was too shallow to actually be fatal. We had been training for two and a half weeks, and my PK Count was only up to 13.

Levi was there every day to remind me of this fact. I had to hand it to him, though. He may enjoy being an asshole, but he clearly didn't want himself there any more than I did. I'd come to the conclusion that he was spying on me for Erwin. That didn't surprise me much. The Commander probably wanted a second opinion on me, seeing as Fran and I had become fast friends during our training time.

Fran was a veteran in her mid-forties. She had faded blonde hair that she kept in a low ponytail down her neck. Her face was strong and angular, and yet very maternal. We bonded over our pasts. She had transferred to the Scouts from the Garrison after her husband died in order to keep her family afloat, seeing as the Scout wages were leaps and bounds above that of other Legions. She told me about her son, who was around my age and soon to graduate the Trainee Corps. She was a soft woman, but incredibly strong. Her Kill Count reached up to rival even Commander Erwin's. I became convinced that she would be our next Commander, which she beamed at when I voiced the thought.

Unfortunately, being paired with such an incredible soldier only made me look even worse than I was. At this point, it seemed the only thing I was steady with was the 3DM gear. Luckily for me, however, the Trainee Corps were sending in a fresh batch of Scout recruits, meaning I'd soon be surrounded by my peers. I had yet to meet anyone even near my age here. Well. Besides Levi. But Levi doesn't count as a person, so it's good.

It also meant I would get my uniform.

But. It meant I had four weeks left before my first expedition.

"DAMN IT!" I yelled, barely holding back from flinging my blades across the training grounds. Another run of eighteen dummies and I'd only taken out five. I angrily dug my toe into the dirt. What was I doing wrong?

Fran sighed, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You'll get it, hun. It'll come with practice."

"But, it shouldn't!" I countered, wanting to hit something. "It shouldn't be so difficult! Nobody else has any trouble! What am I doing wrong?!"

She opened her mouth to respond, but shook her head and looked back down. "I have no idea."

I sighed, desperation seeping into my veins. My first expedition was coming way too fast. My PK Count was just barely high enough to qualify me, but I knew that wasn't to be celebrated. As soon as the date was set, Fran and I both knew what was coming. If I didn't get my act together, I was going to die.

"U-Um, excuse me?" A small voice asked.

I turned, dropping my hands from where they were furiously rubbing at my eyes. A Cadet girl stood before Fran and me, her solute so stiff I was sure she'd get stuck that way. She had long, mousy brown hair that was braided out of her face. Her eyes were big and bright, the color mimicking that of fresh summer grass. A light dusting of freckles covered her whole face, making me tilt my head in thought. She was so pretty and young. She didn't look like a soldier at all.

Then again. This was coming from the fourteen year old girl with literally no prior training to joining the most dangerous branch of the military.

What the hell was I thinking?

"Yes, Cadet?" Fran asked tersely, slipping into 'Military Fran' mode.

"Emilee Mora, Ma'am. I was sent to inform Corporal Fran that her presence is requested in Commander Erwin's office."

Fran hummed in thought. "Any inkling to the reason?"

Emilee shook her head. Fran hummed again, turning back to me. "Go get some rest, Nyx. I'll meet you right here at eight sharp." And with those orders, she turned around and stiffly marched off to Erwin's office. I shook my head. That woman was an enigma.

"Um..." Emilee started. I looked back to her, raising my eyebrows. She seemed unsure of how to phrase her question. "A-are you, by any chance, Onyx Bently?"

I dropped any air of friendliness, my hackles raising. "Why?"

She seemed to sense the hostility her question had raised as she shook her head and raised her hands in surrender. "No! No! It's just that earlier today I was given my room assignment and when I got to my door I noticed that it had two names instead of just mine so I assumed that I must have a roommate but I didn't recognize the name as any of my classmates but when I came to give the message I saw you and you look near my age so I thought that maybe it could be you I didn't mean to offend you or anything I'm really sorry!" She rambled out, breathing heavily at the end of her speech.

I didn't really know how to respond so I just nodded. She smiled, taking that as an acceptance, and started walking back to the Cadet Wing. "Well, come on. I'll show you our room."

I hesitated, but ultimately followed her. Might as well figure it out now so that I'm not stumbling around searching for it after dark. We walked in surprisingly comfortable silence until we reached the door marked for female recruits.

The hinges creaked as we entered the space. Several sets of bunk beds were spread around the room, each including a list of one or more names. It didn't take too long to find ours since it was placed beside the only window in the cabin.

"Home, sweet home..." I muttered, running my finger along the grime covered windowsill. I heard Emilee giggle behind me as she jumped up to the top bunk.

"I've kinda already claimed this bed; I hope you don't mind."

I turned back to her, smirking. "And what if I do?"

Her innocent smile tweaked up into a sly grin. "Well I guess that'll be a problem. I'm sure you'll adjust, though."

I laughed, surprised at how quickly she'd loosened up. Holding up a hand to her, I threw on a genuine smile. "Call me Nyx."

She grasped my hand, shaking it. "Good to meet you Nyx. I do hope your bottom bunk will treat you well."


	3. Beyond the Walls

"-and I didn't even make the top ten."

"Ouch,"

"Yeah...Last time I saw him wasn't too fun."

"Doesn't sound like it would be. Why's your dad so overprotective?"

Emilee looked down at me from her bunk, a remorseful sheen over her eyes. "My sister died in a 3DMG accident a couple years back. He kinda has a grudge against the military now."

I frowned, hesitant by how personal the conversation had gotten. "I'm sorry..."

She shot me a small smile, thankfully changing the subject. "So, are your slices getting better?"

Annoyance contorted my frown into a grimace, answering her question for me. She chuckled at my expression, but tense silence followed. Whether I could fell a titan or not, my PK Count was high enough that I was required to go on this expedition, despite the fact that my ratio was screwed to high heaven. I huffed, pillowing my head with my hands. "I just wish I knew what I'm doing wrong,"

She hummed in agreement, settling down for a fretful sleep. Nobody in our cabin had slept peacefully since the expedition was announced. Although, I think I'd be more worried if they had. At least everybody understands what we're up against.

I snuggled into a ball under my thin blanket, running my hands up and down my arms to keep myself warm. My bronze eyes fluttered shut. Everything would seem simpler after a good night's rest.

 **—T—**

"Okay, Nyx, I want you to stay with your squad. Do not go running off, you'll break formation and get yourself killed, do you hear me?"

"Yes, Fran. I'm not stupid."

"Well, that's debatable sometimes,"

"Oi!" I glared at Fran as she sighed in exasperation. Apprehension tightened my lungs as we trotted down to the Wall Maria gates alongside the rest of our Legion. Commander Erwin was at the center-front, flanked by Levi, Hanji, Mike, and, soon, Fran. I, however, would be in a scout position on the right flank. I understood why newbies were assigned as scouts, but that didn't make being so far from the formation any less terrifying.

Fran gave me a stern look, but it softened as she took in the fear in my face. She paced her hand on my shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. I swallowed thickly and glanced at her, my voice quivering as I spoke. "Do you think there's a chance we won't find trouble?"

She hesitated, thinking over her response. Finally, she shook her head. "No."

I let out a shaky laugh, my hands trembling as I steered my horse, Toto, to my place in the formation. Fran rode up beside me, giving me a one armed hug before riding off to join the other elites in the center. Flashes of my father's face taunted me each time I closed my eyes.

I shook my head, tightening my hold on the reins just in time to see the gate slide open and the formation advance forward. I kept my mind on the plan as I crossed the wall line and fanned out to my position. I was far enough from center to spot any potential dangers to the formation, but close enough that I could signal for help should the need arise. Emilee rode beside me, preparing to speed up and head to her own position. Before she went, however, I heard her gasp my name and turned my attention over.

She was cast in sunlight, her eyes bigger than dinner plates as she took in our surroundings. I followed her example and looked around, feeling my breath escape me. I'd never seen anything so...green. I mean, we had plants and fields in the walls and all, it's just..colors now seemed so much brighter. The sky was so much wider. I chuckled at myself as just watching a few leaves blow by me in the wind stretched my lips into a wide smile.

I left those walls with a drive to keep myself and my squad alive. I was still riding with that intent, but, I was just then starting to decide that, if the Survey Corps meant certain death, this feeling was worth all the extra years I may have lived in the interior. I felt released, free, unshackled from society's judgments. It was perfect.

But not for long.

Our awe was shattered by a red flare about sixty meters ahead of us. Emilee nodded to me and I retrieved my flare gun, relaying the message to the other squads. Emilee shot me a scared smile before riding up ahead, realizing she'd been out of position for too long. Finally alone, I felt all of my muscles tense in anticipation.

 **—T—**

The sun was beginning to set as a yellow flare shot into the sky, signalling the mission's success. A huge wave of relief washed over me. We'd accomplished what we had risked our lives for. I hadn't seen any purple flares, meaning the mission had gone smoother than expected. Although, when I thought about it, I hadn't seen many flares at all.

I could feel the handles of my blades digging against my hips. It was uncomfortable, and yet I welcomed the discomfort with a sense of surety. Every soldier had learned that the blades were the only lifeline we had.

And they would prove to be just so at that very moment.

My horse jolted beneath me as a massive foot slammed down onto the ruins of an old tool shack. I yelped, but hastily scanned the area. I was riding through what looked to be an abandoned town of some sort. A titan, presumably an eight-meter by its looks, stood less than thirty meters from me. It turned its head at the sounds of my panicking horse and spotted me. Its smile chilled me to the bone.

Remembering my training, I shot off a red flare to relay the titan's positioning and drew my blades. No squads were pursuing it, meaning they had either not encountered it or had deemed fighting it unnecessary. I shook my head at the second option. This was close enough to formation that someone ahead must have seen it. Why hadn't there been a signal?

In training, Fran had told me that, until my third expedition, I was meant to leave kills that could be avoided for the veterans in formation behind me. If I could follow her order and just ride on, I could keep the formation from entering any unnecessary combat.

Tearing my eyes from the looming monster, I urged Toto forward. It had spotted me, so there was no way of escaping unnoticed. However, if I could outrun it I could most likely reach Emilee and Squad Leader Faif and regroup before taking it on. There was no way I could handle it on my own.

Thundering footsteps shook the ground as the blonde titan meandered its way after me. I should be fine. It was only an eight-meter, surely it couldn't match pace to a horse. I repeated these thoughts, trying to keep myself level headed. I couldn't afford to screw up by flipping my lid.

The footsteps were just starting to fade into the distance when I heard something odd. Well, more so felt. The footsteps...were getting faster?

Horror spread through my body like wildfire. I turned my head back. There it was. The titan had its head thrown back, its arms dangling. Its gigantic tongue lolled loosely from its mouth as its feet moved so fast they were almost a blur. My eyes swam with panicked tears.

It wasn't alone.

Without warning, two more titans leaped from behind broken buildings to run beside the eight-meter. The tallest (fourteen meter) was hunched over and chasing me like I was an allusive football that it wanted to catch. One glace at its pointed canines had me begging Toto to run faster. The final (ten meter) was the most unnerving. It had somehow managed to flip itself upside-down. Its body was propped on all fours, its joints backwards as it crawled after me at record speed.

I reached for my flare gun. My hands shook so bad I had to try multiple times to fire off my purple capsule. This was just my luck.

The eight-meter reached me in seconds. I swung off of Toto just in time for the titan's foot to smash him into the ground. I didn't let myself react to the horse's death, but instead grappled into the titan's hip. Somehow, it seemed to notice me. It skidded to a stop and, instead of running forward full speed, began spinning itself in rapid circles. I hung on tightly, trying my best to climb to the nape of the neck without falling.

It came to an abrupt stop. The momentum sent me hurling from its body and into the air. I flew several meters, rolling as I hit the ground. Pain shot through my ribs. Breathing seemed significantly more difficult than it had a moment ago, but I didn't have the time to worry about that, seeing as the orchestrater of my nightmares was currently looming over me with narrowed eyes.

"Levi?" I croaked. The single word sent me into a coughing fit.

He frowned when he spotted the red that coated my hand when I pulled it away. He turned his back on me, facing the titan. "Stay here."

He zipped off, launching up and onto the eight-meter's head. I tried to take slow breaths to control my wheezing. "Y..yeah...s-sure thing,"

Looking around, I could see that most of the center formation had reached my position. One glance at the sky told me I had missed sight of the green flare signalling a change in direction. I was lucky they had looped back this way. However, nothing was scarier than being saved by a coincidence.

It wasn't long before the eight-meter titan was dead at Levi's feet. I was in too much pain to feel embarrassed, though. Mike's squad (Hanji, Levi, Fran) zeroed in on the remaining two titans.

Gentle yet urgent hands grasped my shoulders, causing me to turn around. Emilee sat behind me, concern and terror evident in her expression. "I-I'm so sorry! I saw that-that eight-meter titan and I was going to signal - I was I swear - but my horse reared and I dropped my flare gun and I didn't know what to do so when I saw the yellow flare I rode up to where it came from and reported it to the Commander and we couldn't get here any faster I'm so sorry!" She spouted.

I rested a hand on her shoulder, nodding my acceptance. Whether she screwed up or not, she'd done her best to correct it.

"Em...do.. _*cough*_...do you have anything...we could maybe use as a bind?" I wheezed out.

She looked puzzled. "A bind?" Her green eyes traveled down to the bruises peeking out from the holes in my torn shirt. "U-um, well-"

I didn't get to hear the answer to that because Mike suddenly yelled out "BENTLY! MORA! MOVE!"

Emilee jumped out of the way of the titan's falling body, me having to rely on my 3DMG to launch me towards one of the nearby buildings. Unable to control the gear well in my current state, I clumsily collided with the stone walls of an old church and clung onto a window sill.

I was about forty feet above the ground, and that's why I didn't have time to react when yet another titan appeared out of the ruins of this town. The new Nine-Meter stepped out from behind the church I was standing on and, without hesitation, snatched me into its ginormous hand.

I let out a startled shriek. Its fingers tightened around me. I thrashed against its hold. My arms strained as I sliced my blades into its flesh. I tried to pull them back out, but didn't have the space to do so. It raised me to its widened mouth.

I was screaming. Crying. Struggling. Fighting until the very last moment.

But none of that mattered once I was being swallowed.


	4. Torches

I was off the window and in the Titan's mouth in seconds. Perhaps that's why it didn't seem real when the jaws snapped shut behind me.

I was squished to the roof of the beast's mouth by its tongue. My whole body was swiftly becoming damp with saliva as the muscles around me contracted, preparing to swallow. I was still screaming. My mind was buzzing, my eyes darting around so quickly that everything I saw was a blur. Asi's face flashed before my eyes. _What would he do on his own? Would Erwin look after him? Would he be sent to the Underground? Would he be a project like me?_

The throat of the Titan widened as the tongue moved me backwards, liquid pooling around me. I couldn't let this be the end. As my resolve kicked in, so did my instincts.

The Titan's tongue pushed me backwards and down the throat. I closed my mouth and eyes as the wave of saliva rushed over me. Thrusting out my blades, I dug them into the wall of the Titan's throat. I could feel the Titan choke, the muscles of its throat pulsing all around me. Pulling one blade from the wall, I angled it diagonally, beginning to hack away at the flesh. Blood washed over me as I worked, forcing me to shut my eyes again. It was slow work, and with my lungs screaming their protests at the lack of oxygen, I was getting more and more desperate with each second.

After what felt like hours, my blade poked through to the outside. Hope blooming in my chest, I sawed faster, eventually dropping my blade all together and forcing my face against the hole in order to breathe again. I gulped in huge breaths and then started to shove myself out of the Titan's neck.

First, my head.

Then, my shoulders.

Next, my torso, my hips.

And, finally, my legs.

The orange light of the sunset was a welcome sight as I dropped from the Titan's falling body. I fell at the same pace as it did, landing on its belly as we both hit the gravel. The wind blew roughly and I shivered, my vision losing focus. Blood dripped from my hair and landed on the monster's skin where it evaporated. I didn't dare blink. My adrenaline was wearing off. I was trembling. I turned my head to find Erwin standing above the severed nape. His eyes were horrified and bewildered. He was staring at me.

I looked around. Green capes encircled me.

They were _all_ staring at me.

But, why...

I raised my shaking hands into my line of sight. They were still coated in Titan blood, steam erupting all around them. My heart nearly stopped. I had...did I? Was I eaten?

A small sob escaped my lips as terror overcame me. Tears made tracks down the blood on my face. My sobs intensified into wails, and wails into screams.

And there I sat.

On my fifteenth birthday.

Covered in Titan blood, surrounded by onlookers as I completely fell apart.

 **—T—**

The ride back to headquarters was grim. The mission had been a success, but we all knew the rewards were far from worth the loss. I gazed painfully at the line of bodies laid out on the wagon before me. My horse had been killed. Those without horses were to tend to the dead on our journey to the walls.

It wasn't an easy job. But it was necessary.

I didn't know many of these people, however I recognized two of the bodies as those of a married couple I'd seen around the mess hall. The Arlerts? If I remembered correctly, they had a seven year old son. A boy who would now be an orphan.

My eyes fluttered down to focus on my folded hands. We'd been travelling for a good three hours in complete darkness, and everyone was on edge. Movement after dark was strictly against protocol, but the Commander had overruled the soldiers' protests and given the order to move forward to Wall Maria. Our wagons were filled with the wounded, our trailers stacked so high that the corpses of the dead were in danger of toppling over. I swallowed thickly and rubbed my hands together for warmth. I didn't like moving around with so little visibility, but I knew Erwin was right. We couldn't afford another night out in the open.

I wanted to go home. I wanted to see Asi. I wanted to take a shower and wash away the stickiness of the blood I was dowsed in not three hours ago. It had evaporated by now. But I could still feel it.

I chose to tend to the lanterns to distract myself. They were running low on oil; they wouldn't last more than another hour or so. Luckily, just as that thought crossed my mind, the head of the formation called back that the Wall was in sight. Relief rippled through the Scouts, but we stayed on edge. There was no telling what could happen even right outside the gates.

As we grew closer, the bustling of the Garrison soldiers became audible as they moved to open the gate for us. Torches now lit our path, allowing us to see their faces. Mostly, they looked annoyed, irritated at being out at the Wall so late. The gate scraped and screeched as they pulled it open. I could hear the soldiers around me sighing in relief, some beginning to cry quietly. This had been the first expedition for a lot of us. And a lot of us didn't live to see the second.

Riding on the streets of Shiganshina was crushing, and I found myself silently thanking Erwin for making the call he did. If we had waited to return in the morning, we'd be facing the people of this town. We were all gravely silent as it was. Together with the glares of the disapproving, our losses just might've consumed us.

Today was a success, but I had a feeling that there was no way to "win" in the Survey Corps.

 **—T—**

The shower head whizzed as I turned the knob to start the water. The bathrooms were empty by now, as it was nearly two hours past curfew, leaving me to have the little hot water left over after it was distributed to the entire legion. Everybody had seemed eager to wash the evidence of today down the drain.

My fall from the Eight-Meter today had landed me in the infirmary with two broken and one bruised rib. I'd been in there all day.

I pulled the rest of my uniform off, having already disposed of my torn and soiled jacket upon arrival to HQ. My clothes dropped unceremoniously into a heap beside the shower stall I would be occupying. I pulled the band from my black hair, letting it fall out of its loose ponytail and down my back. I turned to look at my reflection.

I wasn't so surprised at my appearance, but it didn't do any favors for my mood. My usually tanned skin was pale and pasty, thinly stretched across easily countable ribs. My physique had improved marginally since my recruitment, as now a noticeable ripple of muscle accented my unhealthily thin frame. I'd always been small for my age, most likely from years of malnutrition, but the ability to stand tall was a trait I prided myself on. In the cold, white light of the bathrooms, though, I was slumped in on myself in defeat, counting the purple and green bruises that splotched my filth coated skin. A morbid smirk twisted my bloodied lips. I looked like a corpse.

I pushed back the curtain and stepped under the spray. After a couple hours without use, the water was warm again, which was greatly appreciated by my aching muscles. I closed my eyes and pushed my black hair back off of my face. Slowly, as not to make any noise to disturb the tenants, I slid down the far wall of the shower and into a sitting position. My arms and legs were still sticky from the Titan's saliva. My eyes burned and I clamped my hands over my mouth to muffle my sobs. I had been allowed to return from the infirmary long before curfew. But, I waited for everyone to retire. They didn't need to see me cry twice in one day.

Or twice in one life, for that matter.

"Okay, kid, let's take a break," Fran panted, sheathing her blades. "I hear they're serving desert today for yesterday's success. We aught'a get down there before Hanji takes our share." She joked, clapping a hand onto my shoulder.

I shot her a smile, although it didn't quite reach my eyes. Her cheery expression melted into one of sympathy. The mess hall was somewhere I was hesitant occupy at that moment. If breakfast had set a precedent of any kind, all that would greet me were whispers and stares because of my stunt beyond the walls.

Unexpectedly, Fran reached out and pulled me into her chest. My head was wedged under her chin and against her collarbone, which dug uncomfortably into my forehead. She was a terrible hugger, I noted, but a small, fond smile breached my lips as I hugged her back. In the short time I'd been here, Fran had become the mother I'd missed out on. She was warm and caring, but also strong and dependable. I was thankful.

I pulled back, glancing around the training grounds to see if anyone had witnessed our display. I was relieved to find the grounds empty. Fran ruffled my hair, stepping back with her hands on her hips. "So," She smiled. "Let's go get that pie." She commanded fondly and turned to head to the mess hall.

I hesitated in following her, looking down at the blades in my grip. "Um, actually!" I called after her. She looked back with raised eyebrows. "I think I'm gonna stay out for a bit." I gestured to the practice cutouts with my blades. She looked surprised and then, to my awe, turned and saluted me, pride blasting from her sparkling smile.

I grinned to myself as she turned and strutted inside. Shifting to face the lines of practice dummies, I readied my blades. I was doing this. And, I was going to get it right this time. The swords still felt awkward in my grip as I raised them into position.

Memories of Levi flashed in my mind. When he'd fought off that titan yesterday, he'd held them...like this. I flipped a blade backwards. The way he held them fit his fighting style. With one blade backwards, his spinning affected his swords to be one long and continuous slice.

I flipped the backwards blade back into its correct position. The proper way to hold them went along with the way we'd been _taught_ to kill a Titan. You kept both sharp ends on the outside of your blades so that, when you attacked the nape horizontally, you could make a substantial overhead slice in the flesh.

...Wait.

My eyes widened as it hit me. That's why my slices weren't right! My attacks were always underhanded! So, if I was slicing from my chest outwards, I needed my bladed ends on the inside, right?

To test my theory, I sheathed my blades and released the handles off of them. Then, flipping the handles upside down, I reattached them to my blades, pulling them out backwards. I held them out to look at them. The swords were blunt on the outer edges and sharp on the inner. I readied them into fighting position and grinned. They had the same weight and all, yet they somehow felt much more comfortable.

I fired off my gear, swishing into the air and onto a practice trail. Dark clouds were building above the tall trees, alerting me to oncoming rain. I smirked. If Mother Nature wanted a race she had one. I'd beat her goddamn rain.

The fake titans were all in place already, allowing me plenty of notice in my approach. I raised my blades to be parallel with my sides, striking out last minute to dig them through the leather practice nape. This time, I felt it. My weapons slid deeply through the material, which took a little more muscle to pull off, and exited with a satisfying swish.

I didn't need to look back. I'd figured it out.

Our next expedition wasn't scheduled yet, but, this time, there was no way I'd rely on my comrads.

With a new fire in my eyes, I launched off the tree and down the remainder of the course. It was a vow I would eventually have to break, but, at that moment, it gave me the assurance I needed.


	5. A Sister's Life

Birds were chirping, the dew coated grass swaying in a gentle breeze. Teardrops seemed to drip from the leaves of trees and into puddles, which reflected the soft blue of the March sky. I hummed softly and snuggled further into my covers. What a wonderful--

"OW! FUCK!" I yelped, glaring to the foot that had so rudely slammed into my eye a moment before.

"Oh! Sorry," Emile grinned innocently. She jumped down from her bunk, sauntering to the door. "Everybody else is up already. We mortals have training in an hour." She chuckled. I groaned, hugging my ribs. I'd managed to get myself injured enough for the nurses in the infirmary to ban me from any formal training this month. Of course, I had spent all of yesterday training with Fran just to send a big FU to the bitchy guy that runs the nursing-wing, but I was now reaping the consequences of my actions. I hurt like hell.

Emilee turned to me, her beautiful face twisting up in thought. "By the way, an officer stopped by earlier with a message for you." I perked up in interest. "You're being summoned to MHB by...Elijah? Asikah?"

I gasped, jumping out of bed and getting dressed. Emilee gave me a weird look but didn't comment, instead opting to make her leave to get breakfast. I pulled on my uniform white pants and my usual black, boat necked undershirt. My jacket hadn't yet been replaced, so I grabbed my cloak off its hanger on my bed. Quickly lacing my uniform boots, I jogged a few steps to the door, but had to stop and clutch my ribs in pain. Why was I so determined to ignore any orders the doctor gave me?

Huffing impatiently, I walked as quickly as I could without causing myself pain. Although I was free today, no carriages would be running from HQ into town since it wasn't a Legion holiday. If I wanted to get to Trost, I'd have to go by horse. My face scrunched at the thought. My ribs were already in pain; this was not going to help. But, I hadn't seen Asikah in over a month. I would have to suck it up.

By the time I reached the stables, the sun was high in the sky. I saddled up an unclaimed horse, figuring I'd need a new stead anyway, and mounted it painfully. A ride to Trost would take about an hour if I rode at a trot. I didn't think my body could handle a full run all the way there. I'd have to make do.

 **-T-**

By the time I'd passed off my horse to a young boy at MHB, I was ready to cry from the pain in my chest. I scanned the outside of the building before inching up the cobblestone steps at the entrance. It looked to be strongly built. The outside was a sandy brown color, looking worn but well kept. Small shrubs lined the outside, which had a few small windows spread throughout its many stories. The Military Home for Boys was an orphanage owned and operated by associates of Keith Shadis of the Trainee Corps. It was there that boys, whom's parents were KIA, were sheltered and trained until they reached suitable age to move out or enlist into training. This was also where Asikah had been taken upon my induction into the Recon Corps.

I entered the building, my pace quickening as I approached a group of boys. There were five of them, ranging in ages from about eight to fourteen, all huddled up around of the oldest, who were both dressed in the cross-sword uniform for Trainees. "Hey!" I called out. They all turned to face me.

One of the Trainees raised an eyebrow at me, looking me up and down in a way that made me feel like punching him. "Wha'chu wantin' then, darlin?"

I scowled at him, hackles raising. "Excuse me?"

He squatted down to my height, a shit-eating grin stretched across his face. "Been a while since I've had to bend down so low, you know. Sure hope you'll make this visit worth my trouble..."

I seriously considered drawing my blades and stabbing him right there, but, upon remembering I'd left my gear back home, I settled for sweeping his feet out from under him and letting him fall backwards onto his ass. I stood above him and cocked an eyebrow. "Better?"

His friends behind him howled with laughter at the display, the other soldier stepping forward. "Pretty badass," He laughed, extending a hand. "I'm Jax. And that dumbass at your feet is Kane, but we all call him Gunner."

I studied him suspiciously, but accepted the handshake. "Nyx."

He had a unique sort of face. Jax's left eye was shielded by a black eyepatch and a long, fading scar trailed from where his jaw began all the way to his collar bone. He had shaggy brown hair that was cut choppily above his ears and matched his visible eye. He looked a little bit younger than me, maybe by a couple years, but the way he carried himself reminded me of the thirty-year old veterans that I worked with. His grip on my hand was strong and firm, however very controlled. I smiled a little, deciding I liked him.

"So, uh, how can we help you?" He asked, releasing my hand with a small grin.

My smile dropped as I remembered my purpose here. "I need to speak with...urm...whoever it is that's in charge here? I'm - uh - expected."

He tilted his head quizzically at my attempt to sound confident. His eye traveled down to my cloak, widening when he spotted the Wings of Freedom insignia. His focus shot back to my face as he searched for something. "Wait...You aren't, by any chance, Asikah Bently's older sister, are you?" I nodded urgently. He cracked a smile, turning down the hallway to my left. "Never would have guessed."

I would've been shocked if he had. Asi and I looked almost nothing alike. He didn't resemble either of our parents much at all, leading me to be even more firm in my belief that our mother had been unfaithful. He had ringlets of golden blonde that were kept short since he complained they tickled his ears. His features still held the pudginess of adolescence and his chubby cheeks were painted with a myriad of dark freckles that seemed to cover his skin entirely.

I, however, took after our mother. The one thing Asi and I had in common were our eyes, a shining bronze framed by thick, dark lashes. My features had lost their child-like softness and had begun to take on a sort of maturity, showing even more of my mother in me. Although a dissmisable parent, my mother had been quite the beauty. One would have to be to have such a long line of lovers for when her husband was away.

Jax nodded surely at me. "I know who you need to talk to," He said, motioning for me to follow him.

I had to force myself not the sprint down the hall, else I'd surely be zapped by my ribs and fall on my face, but instead steadily speedwalked down the corridor Jax was leading me through. We passed several doors, which I assumed were dorms, that adorned children's drawings, military insignia, and colorful nametags. Finally, Jax slowed to a stop and pointed at a door with a large red cross on it. My heart sped up dangerously.

"Last I saw, Dr. Jeager was in there checking him out. He should tell you everything you need to know."

I nodded mutely and focused on calming myself down. I couldn't go inside in my current state and risk scaring Asi. Jax seemed to read this on my face, as he placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder and smiled sympathetically. I swallowed thickly, quickly thanking Jax for his help, and pushed the door open.

The room was much better lit than the rest of the building. The room was small and cluttered. Two of the walls were occupied by a sink and shelves of herbs and bandages. A petite table stood next to a line of three cots that were pushed snugly together. And, on one of those cots, slept Asikah. I rushed to his side, nearly knocking over one of the shelves in my haste. I placed my hand on his head, feeling relieved when I detected no fever. However, he was paler than normal. His fingers had also curled in on themselves in odd angles. Just as I was about to reach for them, the door swung open.

A man entered. He was tall and thin, spectacles on his nose and brown hair pulled into a low ponytail. He paused at the sight of me as realization clicked in his eyes. "Ah. You must be Onyx Bently."

I couldn't find my voice to respond, so I nodded.

"I see. I contacted you as soon as I could, but I couldn't arrange an escort for you, I apologize. I'm Dr. Jeager," He said kindly, joining me at my brother's side.

I ignored his introduction, looking up at him protectively. "What happened?"

"He passed out."

"Yes, I can fucking see that,"

"Language, please, Ms. Bently."

I glared at him impatiently. "What's wrong with my little brother?"

Dr. Jeager frowned, reaching for his 'doctor clipboard.' "Well, Ms. Bently," He started hesitantly.

"Don't worry about sugar coating stuff, old man," I snapped. I pointed to the insignia on my cloak. "I can handle it."

His eyes followed my gesture and he nodded. "Your brother has abnormally thin blood cells."

I furrowed my brows, not sure what that meant. "Okay? What's wrong with that?"

His features slumped in sadness. "Well...normally, human blood cells should be about four times as thick as Asikah's are. Their size allows them to be pumped all around the body. Asikah's are one-fourth of their proper size, meaning his cells are both too cluttered together and too thin to effectively preform their functions."

I lowered my hand, dread filling my head. "Well, what does that mean?"

"It means that, unless he is given proper treatment and this malformation is stabilized, his cells will no longer carry the substantial amount of oxygen needed by each of the organs, they will be too unstable to properly clot and close wounds, and they may begin to stick to the walls of his veins to the point that he could loose the use of any external limbs that his heart can not pump blood to."

My vision was swimming as I took this in. "Which means?"

Dr. Jeager hesitated. "Which means he could become paralyzed. And, if not treated, could succumb to organ failure and be lost to us."

I lowered myself shakily onto the cot behind me, pinching the material of my pants between my fingers. Asi paralyzed? He would be crushed. Never, had I seen him go a day without running and skipping and leaping. I looked back up to Dr. Jeager, poorly masking my anguish. "Can you treat him?"

He hung his head. "I can. But not without special supplies, expensive medicines, and extensive labor. It would be a high fee."

I sighed. I had expected that. We didn't have much, but, now that I had a steady flow of income lining our pockets, just maybe this would be within reach. "How much?"

His answer almost made me cry.

I didn't have that much! Hell, even half a year from now, I wouldn't have that much! And they want it monthly??

I started to panic, standing up and pacing circles around the small space. Being in the Recon Corps, there was no chance of picking up a second day job. Maybe if I could find something that would have night shifts? But, even with two paychecks coming in, I would have to get a third job on top of that to be able to afford Asi's care. The only way to pull that off would be resigning from the military, but I couldn't do that because my being a soldier was the only reason Asi was here and not begging in the streets of Wall Sina. As much as I hated to admit it, Erwin had locked me into a cage. If I left, he'd discharge Asi from this orphanage. I had no choice but to stay.

Dr. Jeager's hand on my shoulder made me realize he'd been calling my name for a good minute or so. I blinked dazedly at him, stumbling back and plopping back onto the cot. "Ms. Bently," He began gently. "I know better than anyone how tight money can be. I'm willing to find a way to make this work."

I shook my head. "I can't get that money. There's no possible way."

He sighed sadly, reaching down and picking up the cloak I had dropped. Looking at it, something appeared to have occurred to him. "You're a Cadet, aren't you?"

I frowned, not sure why that was important. "Yes?"

"I'm well acquainted with the previous commander of the Scouting Regiment. I believe I could ask Keith to pull some strings. I believe in your cause beyond the walls. Perhaps, if you could not pay all in coin, you can make up the difference through action."

I widened my eyes at his offer. Hope bloomed in my chest. However- "And should I fall?" I asked.

He looked down at Asi, who slept soundly, wrapped around a stuffed rabbit I'd stolen for him on his fourth birthday. "I hope that will not come to pass. For your sake. And his."

 **-T-**

I marched purposefully down the hall that lead to Erwin's office. Reaching the door, I knocked without a thought, knowing that if I mulled it over, I would come to my senses and go to bed. I heard the debating voices go silent as Erwin called for me to enter. Letting out a sharp sigh, I pushed the door open. Surrounding Erwin's desk were Mike, Hanji, Levi, and Fran. A map was laid open in front of them, a model formation beginning to take shape. They all looked at me expectantly, slight intrigue in a few of their gazes.

Meeting only Erwin's eyes, I stiffly saluted.

He straightened up in his seat, nodding to me. "As you were." He folded his hands in front of his mouth. "What do you wish to report, Onyx?"

"Sir," Don't do it, don't be stupid! "It has come to my attention that my younger brother has fallen ill, potentially fatally," Stop, stop, STOP! "I am aware that I have been given permission to compensate for his treatment by way of action within my Legion." YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED, DUMBFUCK!

Erwin nodded thoughtfully. "I was informed of your situation by Former Commander Shadis this afternoon."

"Sir," I swallowed my mounting fear, forcing my voice to remain steady. "I would like to volunteer for any and all expeditions within or beyond the walls from this point until the end of my career."

Soft exclamations of shock were audible throughout the room. Chancing a glance around, Fran looked stunned, and even Levi had a subtle air of surprise about him. I looked back to the Commander, who seemed taken aback, but also incredibly smug, as if he knew things would turn out this way.

He nodded solemnly. "Permission granted."


	6. Two Years Later

The screams of the anguished echoed through the valley. I fired my gear, swinging gracefully between the tall trees encasing the nearby clearing. I moved swiftly, surely, not a flaw in my form. I flinched as one voice was silenced. This was my 18th mission beyond the walls, my 32nd within my legion, far more than any other junior member of my regiment, and yet never had I become numb to the deaths of my comrades. As frustrating as grief is, it tells me that I'm human. Something I do need a reminder of once in a while.

I broke through the treeline. Squad Mike was locked into combat, surrounded by a crowd of no fewer than five Nine-Meter Class Titans. Mike was skillfully fighting off a wide-set blonde Titan, but the rest of his disciples were on the brink of death. I grit my teeth, launching myself off my tree to their aid. I had never learned the actual names of Squad Mike, preferring to call them by their respective hair colors. I had grown to avoid learning names. It only made the hurt worse when they were gone.

At the speed of light, I reached the nape of the closest Titan, slicing its nape cleanly. It tumbled to the ground, narrowly missing the trembling Brunette soldier at its feet. I didn't spare her a glace, instead continuing on to the other targets. Left to deal with, there was a black haired Titan looming over two soldiers that seemed to be readying their next attack, there was a red haired Titan lifting a struggling black haired girl off her feet and towards its mouth, and there was a bald headed Titan standing still as a blonde recruit sneaked up behind it.

Reading the situation expeditiously, I made my move. The black haired girl screamed for my help as she fought to escape the Titan's grasp. However, I flew right over her. Her calls twinged in betrayal, becoming more desperate. I tuned them out, speeding for the Bald Titan. The blonde recruit behind it smirked, certain he was about to achieve his first kill. As he raised his blades, though, the Titan spun around, its jaws centimeters from closing over the boy's head. He screamed, but it toppled forward, limp.

I pulled my blades out of kill-position as the Titan's blood evaporated and turned back to where the raven-haired girl was inches from death. I moved fast enough to be a blur, ending the life of that Titan as well. The girl yelped as its fingers contracted around her, but I swooped down, sliced the hand in two and pulled her into the air. I didn't bother being gentile, taking only the necessary time to ensure the fall wasn't fatal before dropping her from the air.

She let out a small squeak of surprise, but I didn't think on it. Instead, I zoomed over to where the final two squad members were in a tangle with their Titan. Mike, who had finished off his own target, met me there as we set our sights on the last Titan. I dodged the giant hand as the monster swung at me, dipping down to the ground to sever its achilles. The Titan careened forward, face planting. Mike finished the job, slicing its weak point.

He and I met eyes as we straightened up. He nodded at me in gratitude. I shot him a smile, returning the gesture, and turned back to the woods.

"Get yourselves regrouped with the rest of the Front Guard. Erwin plans to change direction to avoid sending the back half of the formation through the valley. The right flank spotted more Four and Eight-Meters heading this direction, so I suggest you act fast." I ordered. Mike nodded at me.

"I smelled them near. I didn't realize how many there were until we were at their mercy, though." It was a clear apology. I nodded at him again, accepting his explanation.

"Go."

We all zipped off, them heading East and up the wall of the valley, me routing North and further into the compromised area. Mike may have been a higher rank than me, but he and I had an understanding. I knew what I was talking about. They would follow my orders.

I didn't have to go too far to reach our meeting point. Hanji's squad, which I'd been a part of since I turned sixteen, had decided to divide and warn the other squads of the approaching Titan horde. Hanji was already at the meeting point, accompanied by Levi Ackerman. My lip curled up in irritation. Levi and I didn't exactly get along. Our attitudes toward one another had recently reached their boiling points when he had criticized the way I trained our new recruits during drills. Since then, we'd done everything in our powers to make the other's life a living hell. Unfortunately for me, though, he had the upper hand, seeing as he was still a rank higher than me. But, the callouses from scrubbing the walls of HQ only fueled my hate-fire that much more.

I pushed our history behind me, landing beside them. Levi seemed to be glaring at Hanji harsher than usual, his posture stiff. My squad leader's usual grin was gone, instead twisted into a stressed scowl.

"What's happened?" I asked, preparing myself for the worst.

Levi scoffed, turning to face me. "She's given an order to abandon the left flank."

I whirled around, shock and horror overtaking me. "What?!"

Hanji glared at us. "The majority of the horde has hit from their direction. We must focus on pulling the right flank out of the valley before the oncoming wave of Titans reaches them. We have minutes before they hit," Sunlight reflected off her glasses, making her look somewhat spooky. "Both of you know what could happen should they reach our new recruits."

Memories of snapping teeth and red-hot saliva flashed in my eyes. I shuddered. To my left, Levi seemed to be having a similar case of déjà vu. She was right. All those on the left flank were veterans. But, the right flank carried our newest recruits, who were out here on their first expedition. I thought of Jax. He had been stationed as a scout in the right flank. If we sent our forces to save those on the left, we would be sentencing him and his class to almost certain death.

"Send us." Levi said. Hanji and I turned to him in puzzlement. "As dim as she is-"

"Hey!"

"Bently and I have the highest kill counts in the Legion. Send us, we'll take down as many of those bastards as we can."

Hanji sighed, placing her hands on her hips. "The fact that you're our best soldiers is precisely why I don't want to do that." She scrunched up her face in indecision. Levi and I shifted impatiently. Hanji peeked open one eye and then swung around, turning her back to us. "OH NO! I'VE BEEN TEMPORARILY BLINDED! I DO HOPE THAT MY SOLDIERS DON'T DISOBEY ORDERS AND GO SAVE OUR FRIENDS ON THE LEFT FLANK!"

I grinned at her antics and turned back to where Levi was standing, only to find he'd gone on ahead and left me. Irritation ticked at my head, but I followed without complaint.

We zipped through the trees, trying our best to tune out the bone-chilling screams of our friends. They were starting to get to me. My fingers twitched anxiously on the handles of my blades. I pulled the trigger again, ready to fire into an approaching boulder, but my aim was off. I missed my target, starting to swan dive to the ground. I almost screamed, but managed to fire off another hook before hitting the grass. My heart was in my throat.

Levi looked back at me from the corner of his eye. "Keep it together, Bently."

I normally would've snapped at him, but, right then, I was too shaken up to do anything other than nod.

We reached the left flank within ten minutes, not pausing for even a moment before swinging into battle. Before us stood a group of at least twenty Titans, all surrounding several of our squads. Levi and I didn't have to say a word as we began our fight. He shot for the nape of the nearest Ten Meter, while I took out a Nine. He swung towards me, slicing the nape of another Ten while I did the same to an Eight. We neared each other, both of us thrusting out our feet simultaneously. We met midair, pressed our boots together, and pushed off, both of us shooting off like rockets to take out two more Titans.

I killed three more Titans (Six, Ten, Ten) and stopped on a tree, shooting off a flare signalling retreat. The other squads followed my order efficiently, only the squad leaders staying behind to help those that were trapped. Levi anchored himself into a tree next to mine, muttering my name to get my attention. He nodded over to one Titan that stood above the rest and then met my eyes and raised his eyebrows.

I nodded. The Titan was definitely the tallest I'd ever encountered. It stood at a height of at least Sixteen-Meters, it's long brown hair brushing its elbows. It turned to us and smiled, its teeth each measuring at least half a meter long. My stomach tightened. It was either an Aberrant or just extremely rare, but I wouldn't be taking any chances. This one was different.

Levi and I fired off towards the Sixteen. I hung mid-air in front of its face, waving my blades while Levi swung around behind its head to get to the nape. It snapped at me, its eyes following me as I dodged. Because of its size, this thing shouldn't be able to move too fast, which meant Levi had ample time to put it down.

However, just as that thought entered my mind, the Sixteen turned its head, spotting him. We both gritted our teeth. It was abnormal. This was going to be difficult. While its head was turned, I shot forward, stabbing my blades into its jaw and slicing down. One side of its jaw hung slack, causing it to turn its attention back to me. Once it was facing me again, Levi thrust his blades into the remaining side, slicing the Titan's jaw fully open. Its mouth hung open, waggling with every movement it made. Levi moved downwards, expertly avoiding the Sixteen's stomping feet to slice out its achilles. Once the Titan was falling, I zoomed upwards, managing to cut out its weak point. It fell limp.

Levi and I crossed midair, immediately heading to evacuate the remaining squads. I had to hand it to him. As much of an asshole as he was, he had earned his title fair and square.

I crossed the clearing caused by the rampaging Titans and killed two Four-Meters, saving the last squad on my side. Sending them off towards the formation, I turned to where Levi was, surprised to find him actually struggling with a Titan. Then, I saw it. His left gas tank was dented severely, the gas escaping far faster from that side than it was from the right, causing all of his movements to be slanted and uncontrollable. A Nine-Meter was reaching for him, swatting all around as if he were a fly.

The Titan reached out abruptly, snatching Levi from the air. Without another thought, I launched myself forward, slicing the Nine's nape before it could bring him any closer. Levi cut his way out of captivity, firing his broken gear and landing clumsily on the nearest tree branch. If it hadn't been a serious situation, I would have laughed. It was the first time I'd seen him do anything that wasn't in perfect grace.

In the air, I did a quick scan. There were five or six Titans left, but the only soldiers still here had been killed or were too far gone to rescue. I changed course, heading for Levi's tree. Landing beside him, I didn't stop to chit-chat. I jogged up to him, threw him over my shoulder, and shot back into the air.

He didn't struggle, to my surprise, but made sure to lean his head close enough to mine for me to hear his growl of, "Mention this to anyone and I'll feed you to the Titans."

As shaken up as I was from battle, I couldn't hold back the small laugh that bubbled up in my chest. "Your secret's safe with me, Princess."

The bruise on my head would probably take a week to heal. But, I mean...worth it.

 **-T-**

I sat glumly with Fran at our usual table in the mess hall. The room was bustling, people celebrating a mission well done. After regrouping and exiting the valley, which would now be known as "Dead Man's Divide," Erwin had made his order to continue onward to our goal. We had succeeded in our mission within the day, riding home in good light and good spirits.

Most of us anyway.

I didn't understand how people celebrated after a mission, even a successful one. As many times as I'd tried to slap a smile on and join the festivities, my eyes were always drawn the the empty seats; my mind conjuring up the missing faces. Losing people wasn't something I would ever get used to.

Fran understood my feelings and, although she participated in the festivities, stayed beside me as comfort. I was grateful for her presence. Her motherly aura had a calming effect on me, allowing me the peace to grieve silently.

I lifted the last bite of my dinner to my mouth, about to stand up to dispose of my dishes, when Mike placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Nyx, Erwin's asking for you."

I frowned. I was looking forward to taking a quiet shower while everybody was attending the party. What was so urgent that he needed me now? "What for?"

Mike shrugged, sniffing the air, beaming, and racing off to the kitchens for cake.

I sighed, standing from my seat and stretching. I couldn't exactly refuse the Commander.

Erwin's office was on the other side of the building where the noisy mess hall wouldn't disturb his work. I'd made the trip enough, though, that I knew the shortcuts to get there within five minutes. I reached his door and entered, not bothering to knock. If he sent for me, it's not like I wasn't expected.

Erwin was sitting in his chair, smirking at a highly irritated looking Levi, who's arms were crossed defiantly. Erwin turned to me, his expression growing even more smug (if possible).

"Ah, Onyx. I have some exciting news for you."

I raised an eyebrow, leaning my hip against his desk and crossing my arms. "Do you?"

Erwin gestured to the mission reports on his desk. "I hear you two make quite the partnership. Taking down a total of twenty-six Titans, including one Sixteen-Meter Aberrant. Pretty inspiring."

I furrowed my brow, not sure where he was going with this.

"You both have the highest skill stats, highest kill counts, and highest public favor,"

I groaned at his last comment. After cutting myself from the throat of a Titan on my first expedition, at fourteen years old no less, my name had spread throughout the nation like wildfire. They'd learned of my surname and begun to call me, "The Legacy."

"I could, daresay, that you are the two most compatible soldiers the military has."

I rolled my eyes but knew he was right. As at each other's throats as we were in everyday life, Levi and I worked extraordinarily well together in combat. This was mostly due to both of our remarkable foresight, allowing us to know our next move without even having to communicate.

"So, I want this official."

What?

"I want you two as partners."

 _What?_

"Levi, I want you to be the head of a new squad composed exclusively of our most elite, with Nyx as your second."

 **WHAT?**

"You two will handpick your members, but I may place a few myself as well. Observe our new recruits. I want your list by next Sunday."

I stared at him, openmouthed.

 ** _WHAT?_**


	7. The Special Operations Squad

I tapped my foot impatiently, waiting for my "Captain" to arrive at our meeting place, steam shooting out my ears.

 _'That fucking bastard...sending me here so early without even showing up himself,'_

An angry growl rumbled from my throat. I'd been out here all alone since way before the sun rose. By now, it was high in the sky and still without any sign of Ackerman.

"Who the hell does he think he is? Think he's all cool cause he has a new badge. And a title. And an office...that's pretty cool, I guess. But you know what," I huffed, crossing my arms. "I'll bet his chair is really _uncomfortable_."

"I wouldn't know," A smooth voice sounded from behind me. "I don't spend as much time sitting on my ass as you do."

I whirled around, poised to knock his teeth out if he opened his mouth one more time. "BASTARD! I'VE BEEN OUT HERE FOR HOURS WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?"

His usual scowl deepened at my shrill voice and he turned away from me, causing me to angrily flail at the rejection. "So," He stared in the direction of the training fields. "Have you been watching?"

I scoffed. "Well there wasn't much else to do at the _crack-of-fucking-dawn_." I ignored his minuscule smirk and continued on. "Most of the rookies are slightly above average. Pretty decent. Not many really stand out, though, except," I nodded towards two forms near the practice tracks. One shorter male that I recognized instantly, making me smile, and the other being much taller and feminine. "The top two."

Levi grunted disinterestedly. "What are their names?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Why would I know?"

"Because it's your job to."

"And it isn't yours?"

"Not when I have a dancing monkey to do it for me."

"The _FUCK_ did you just call me?!"

"Do you know them or not?"

I huffed. "Fine." I pointed over to where the two trainees were training, glaring daggers at each other from what I could see. "The short guy's Jax Stronghold. From what I hear he's pretty intense about following orders. He's a good soldier, though, and people trust him." Levi nodded, actually considering my words for once. I smirked, moving my finger in the girl's direction. "That one's Dia Frosche."

I paused to think of a way to explain the enigma that was Dia Frosche. "She's...uhh...has an interesting...work ethic?"

Levi grunted and stepped up towards the recruits. "At least try to appear competent while we interview them. I don't need to explain how important Erwin thinks this."

"I'm plenty competent!"

* * *

"Jax," I greeted professionally. "Long time, no see."

He turned and beamed in recognition. "Nyx! I was wondering when I'd run into you!"

I smiled at him, which clearly annoyed Levi, who had insisted we stay entirely impartial throughout our screening. "We're here to observe. I'll be able to talk later. Right now," I challenged. "Show us what you've got."

Jax saluted us and shot off. He wove through the practice pegs on the field, zipping in a zig-zag pattern at remarkable speed. It was an impressive display and it took all of my self control not to beam like an idiot as Levi circled something on his clipboard. Jax landed in a jog and started heading back our direction.

My attention shifted onto the girl he had been training with. Dia Frosche. I braced myself.

She sauntered up to meet us, a painfully forced smile stretching her lips nearly to the edges of her cheeks. Her hair was light brown and cut short over her pointed face, which, to my amusement, was lightly painted in a layer of makeup. I almost snorted. Only the rich folks in Wall Sina could hope to afford such a luxury, and only they would have the mindset that allowed its use. My life had been surviving one day to the next, having to be just a little bit quicker and cleverer than the next person to cross my path. I'd never touched the stuff. It was a waste of time.

"Hello, Captains," She greeted sweetly. I struggled to keep a cringe off my face. "What would you like me to demonstrate?"

I could no longer hold back a scoff. "Well what did you spend the last three years doing?"

She glared at me dangerously, her sweet facade dropping instantly. "Working. Training. Something you've never had to go through, _ma'am_." She snarked through gritted teeth. "As to why that is," Her eyes darted to Levi's bored scowl. "I couldn't say."

I chuckled, infuriating her. "Call it _naturally gifted_." I was surprised Levi hadn't hit me yet. So was Dia, apparently, seeing as she was looking between the two of us expectantly.

"Wipe that stupid look off your face, Cadet," Levi monotoned. "It's gonna give me diarrhea."

I laughed loudly as Dia nearly fell over in shock. How ironic that Levi and I would agree on the one thing Erwin is forcing us to do. Dia whirled back to glare at me, but I held out a hand to halt her next words. "Nope. Don't speak. I think we're done here."

"But, I haven't-"

Levi cut her off. "If you can't keep a level head when _speaking_ to your commanding officer, you won't do so in battle. You're a liability."

Dia's entire face flushed as we turned and began to make our exit. I heard her take two steps forward and tensed. I sensed her before I felt her. I spun around and snatched her wrist as she thrust out her fist, twisting it, throwing my other arm out, and flipping her midair. She hit the ground and jumped into a crouched position before swinging out a leg to knock my feet from under me. I smirked and jumped over it. Cheap trick. Textbook.

Just before my feet came into contact with the ground again, I reared one back and swung it, not to hit her, but to get myself spinning. I landed on one foot, spinning like a top, and used the momentum to slam my fist into her cheek. She didn't have time to brace herself, my blow sending her flying at least fifteen feet away.

I straightened back up and stretched, popping my back. I looked around. A small audience had gathered to watch our "fight." Their expressions made me chuckle. They all stared at me like some sort of scary monster, flinching backwards if I even brushed my eyes over them. Whispers reached my ears.

"Dude, she just destroyed her."

"Was that _Dia_? Holy crap..."

"She beat Dia so easily? Freakin' _monster_ ,"

I raised an eyebrow at the last speaker, mildly annoyed. Monster was a bit strong. Levi cleared his throat behind me, grabbing my attention back. He looked annoyed, although I was unsure which direction the irritation was directed. Nodding, I turned to follow him back to HQ. My thoughts were on the girl, dim worry sparking in my chest. As annoying as she was, that girl had skill. I just hoped she'd learn how to utilize it the right way, instead of getting her team into danger with her hot head. I heard a long scratching noise from Levi's direction, followed by the click of a pen. I chuckled.

Wasn't my problem anymore.

* * *

"AHAHAAHAHAHA!" Hanji howled, banging her fist on the table.

"I SWEAR SOME OF THEM PISSED THEIR PANTS!" Harold whooped, throwing his head back. Mike was in stitches on the floor, clutching his stomach as he fought for breath.

Fran laughed too, her hilarity parting for slight worry for the Cadets. "Did they really?!" She exclaimed.

I shrugged, a shy grin on my face. The group blinked at me for a moment. They looked at each other.

Hanji snorted loudly, sending them all tumbling back into another fit of laughter. I chuckled at my friends, taking the final swig of my water. Mike and Harold had tried to convince me to try their alcohol, an offer I had wildly refused. I'd only drank once before and, although I don't remember much of it, the night had somehow ended with Hanji in hysterics and Fran standing over me with a bag of horse feed and a garden hose.

Recovering from her fit, Fran spoke up, her words broken apart by small giggles. "So, did you guys decide on anybody yet?"

"For the squad?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

She looked at me sarcastically. "No, for the Scouting Legion Beauty Pagent."

I puffed my cheeks at her. "No need to be so mean," I whined. "Yeah, we have a few ideas."

"Anybody we know of?"

I set my mug down. "Yeah. We're keeping it small - no more than five of us total. Any bigger makes our formations too spread out." They nodded.

 _ **"HA!"**_ Hanji burst out. We all jumped, looking to her in irritation.

"Jesus, woman, what's your problem?" Harold grumbled.

Hanji covered her mouth, holding in escaping giggles. "Nothing just," She put her hand down, guffawing. "JUST IMAGINING LEVI AND NYX BEING STUCK TOGETHER EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY" The group laughed again, me groaning in dread.

Fran put an arm around my shoulders. "Aw, come on. It won't be so bad," She insisted. I rolled my eyes. Nudging me, she lowered her voice. "Besides-" She leaned into my ear, whispering a few words I would have never imagined coming out of her mouth. My face burned scarlet as I shot across the room, letting out a high-pitched squeak. I raced out the door as Fran shouted, "WELL IF YOU NEED TO TALK I CAN EXPLAIN THE DETAILS!"

The room exploded into the loudest round of laughter yet as I screamed in disgust, covering my ears and dashing towards my cabin. I rounded the corner at top speed, slamming into what felt like a brick wall. I splatted backwards onto my butt, closing my eyes as I fell. From the floor, I looked up to see what I'd run into.

Levi glared down at me from where he was standing, clearly ticked at his rude welcome. My face had to be scorched as I yelped and stumbled down the rest of the hall, leaving behind a bewildered Levi and my friends practically screaming in laughter.

* * *

I slammed the door behind me, pressing my back against it with a sigh of relief.

Alone at last.

Chuckling, I pulled my hair from the messy bun I'd thrown it in after my shower. It had grown over the past couple years, the black strands straightening out and reaching my waist. I looked at my reflection in the darkened window. My face had matured as I grew. My jawline and collarbones had become more prominent, my skin having taken on a healthy caramel hue. I'd inherited my father's full lips and dark eyebrows. My face itself was shaped like my mother's, oval with a spattering of light freckles. My eyes came from her as well. They were a striking bronze, framed by long, dark eyelashes.

I looked like her. It made me nauseous.

I blew out the candle by the window, the floorboards creaking as I made my way to my bunk. I undressed in the dark, slipping on a big shirt to sleep in. Sitting down on my bed, my adjusting eyes swept over the empty cabin.

There was a time when this room was filled with laughter. Like the day that Emilee and I arrived after dinner to find Harlie making out with some douchey guy from their class named "Chad" on our bunk. Emilee had made me burn the sheets before we went to bed that night.

I laughed softly at the memory, my smile turning sad. _'I really hope this promotion comes with new housing,'_ I thought, blocking the memories of my departed friends and laying down to sleep.

 _'I can't keep living with ghosts.'_

* * *

"Here, in my hand, is the list of soldiers assigned to the first ever Special Operations Squad. Captain Levi Ackerman has agreed-"

 _Is "agreed" the right word?_

"To take charge of this unit, alongside his Second in Command, Onyx Bently." Erwin announced.

Levi and I stepped up to either of his sides, saluting our fellow soldiers. They were lined up in the courtyard used for speeches, each of them standing with their hands neatly folded behind their back. Erwin cleared his throat, holding the list out before him. "Please step forward when your name is called.

"Fran Martin."

Fran stepped forward, her face deathly serious.

"Harold Trazzer." Harold followed suit, a proud smile twitching at his lips.

"Jax Stronghold." Whispers of surprise emanated from the name, awed at our choice to recruit a soldier fresh out of training. Jax looked stunned himself, only moving forward after being elbowed sharply by Gunner, who looked torn between jealousy and pride.

I grinned, standing by our choice. Jax was young, inexperienced, but had incredible potential. Under Levi's command, he would flourish. I waited impatiently for Erwin to give his final orders, wanting badly to speak with my new squad.

But, it seemed he wasn't done.

"Dia Frosche."

I grunted in surprise, my head whipping around. Levi and I locked eyes, him looking equally as alarmed (a rare show of emotion on his part), and then turned to glare at Erwin, who, if he noticed our exchange, hadn't acknowledged us.

"You four are to meet with your commanding officers in the training grounds tomorrow at 0500 hours. "Offer your lives!"

" **Sir**!" We saluted in unison.

The crowd filtered off as Levi and I rounded on Erwin. "What the hell are you playing at?!" I whisper-shouted, knowing better than to make a scene out of this.

"I said I may make my own placements as well," Erwin smirked. He seemed to be doing that a lot recently.

Levi scowled at him. "Erwin, you know as well as I do that girl is not fit to be in elite circumstances."

I felt a twinge of annoyance at being excluded.

Erwin narrowed his eyes in amusement. "And why is that?"

I jumped back into the conversation. "She has no respect for her superiors or her comrades, her judgement is clouded by emotional responses, she has a blatant disregard for orders- need I go on?"

Erwin raised his eyebrows at me, leaning down to level his face with mine. "Sounds a lot like a certain pickpocket I found nicking from one of my men a few winters ago."

Anger charged through me. "No." I said strongly. He faltered slightly, taken aback by my dark tone. "Respect aside, I have never allowed my emotions to rule my mind. Put a soldier like that into action and you're throwing them in deeper than they can swim."

Erwin's expression finally became serious. He straightened back up, dusting off his uniform. "Her skill is unmatched by any other trainee graduate in over half a decade. I want her under your command. If things go south, I want a full report. I will consider, then, removing her from your squad." He held out a hand to us. "Deal?"

Levi just stared at him, not satisfied with his answer. I, however, was feeling extra bitchy. I coldly slapped his hand away, turning and storming off to my cabin.

I might as well get some extra sleep. These were gonna be a rough few months.


	8. Don't Cross the Streams (Wires)

Here I was

Sitting on my knees in some hallway I'd never even used

Using my toothbrush (which I would definitely figure out a way to replace that short asshole's with) to scrub out the gunk caught in the tiny space between the door hinge and the wall.

Who put me here?

Well, I think that's pretty obvious.

Why?

I can't be fully angry, y'know? I kinda deserved it.

* * *

 **Four Hours Earlier**

Jax and I squared up, analyzing each other. Ten feet away, Harold cheered Jax's name and whistled shrilly. I chuckled as I picked up Fran's voice, which seemed to be periodically switching between both of our names.

Such dorks.

Jax made the first move, digging his heel into the red dirt as he launched himself at me. I didn't move a muscle and instead chose to study his movements. He reached me in four steps, rearing his fist back and- _THERE_!

I ducked underneath his arm and put my weight onto my hands, which I had positioned on the outside of my left leg. Twisting myself at the waist, I spun around on my hands and swept my legs over. My heel collided with his, knocking his foot forward and sending him tumbling onto his back. I twirled into a standing position and waited, giving him a chance to stand back up. I laughed as I picked up Harold's voice again in the background, which had changed from a triumphant chant of Jax's name to a slightly guilty cheer of mine.

Jax jumped back up to his feet and stopped. He'd noted that I had a defense he couldn't match. He was waiting for me to make the advance this time. I grinned. Good boy.

Obliging as I am, I charged forward. Finding it entertaining to mess with him, I darted right to left in a zigzag pattern. His eyes followed my feet, straining to keep up with my speed, but then dropped to mark out the path I would take if I continued my pattern. I smirked. This was exactly the type of textbook bullshit they taught in the Trainee Corps. In a real fight, your opponent was unpredictable.

Which was proved to me right then when a foot collided painfully with my face.

I flew backwards and smacked to the ground in a cloud of dust. Taken aback, I sat up with a bright smile to commend Jax, only for it to go completely cold as I recognized who's boot was raised.

"What the hell, _Ackerman_?! We were just sparring!"

His crossed is arms. "You were supposed to be going over formations."

I rose to my feet and mirrored his position. "How am I supposed to do that when the Squad Leader isn't here?"

Levi didn't answer, instead scowling and waving us all over to follow him to the picnic tables in the fields. I rolled my eyes but didn't protest in following him. I heard a muffled snicker behind me and turned to glare at Harold.

" _What_?" I snapped.

He snorted piggishly and flicked my forehead."You can see his bootprint on your forehead."

My cheeks burned as I pulled my bangs down in an attempt to hide my face. "Fuck off, Harold."

His laughter followed me as I sped up to walk beside Fran and Dia instead. Fran grinned at me from my left. "It's about time someone knocked that head of yours."

I elbowed her playfully, laughing lightly. "Oh, shut up. You've done so plenty of times."

Dia scoffed at my other side. "I'd love to have a turn sometime. I wonder, does an _air_ head react differently to force? Like, would it roll like normal or does it, say, bounce?"

I rolled my eyes and turned to her. "Bounce? You mean like your reputation after I kicked your ass last week?"

Dia's face colored as I jogged up to meet Levi at the tables. He glanced up at me and the ghost of a smirk brushed his face briefly. "You look like shit."

I hopped up to sit on the tabletop, just to annoy him. "Well, that does happen when you kick somebody into the mud, y'know."

He glared at the dirt now caked to the backs of my clothes, skin, and hair. "Get off the table. You're gonna get it dirty."

I ignored him and instead pulled my feet up to sit Indian-style beside the square of parchment he had laid out just as the rest of the squad arrived. Harold leaned down to study the lines Levi had drawn out on the sheet. "So, what's the plan, Cap?"

Levi pointed down at the drawing with one hand, using the other to roughly shove me off the table, and narrowed his eyes. "This will be our squad formation for the mission next week."

I sat up, surprised. "Wait, you already finished it? Erwin just announced the date like an hour ago."

Levi didn't acknowledge me, instead opting to explain his creation. "Our squad, because it's newly formed, will be stationed as the lead of the upper-right flank to protect new recruits."

Jax leaned in, hanging onto his every word. "So...the front lines?"

Fran helped me up and nodded at him. "In a way, technically. We'll be the first to encounter any Titans on that side of the formation."

"But, we aren't really on the 'front lines' since we're several squads back from the formation tip." I explained. Jax seemed to relax a bit at this.

Dia huffed and curled her lip, looking like she was about to complain. Levi looked up and glared at her. "Is there a problem, Frosche?"

His glare was harsher than I expected it to be. She shifted uncomfortably and her disrespect dissolved. "No sir."

Levi looked at her for a second more and then turned back to the map. "Good."

Oh, _sure_ , she'll listen to _him_.

"As for within the squad," he continued, pointing down at his drawing at the corner of the map. "This is our formation."

I leaned forward in interest. Levi had split our group into two, a suggestion I would have definitely made due to our numbering, and placed each member into either group. The placements were organized to have Levi at the helm, leading the squad, flanked by Fran and Harold. Dia and Jax rode slightly behind them, situated to be in between them for protection. I was set to bring up the rear in case of emergency.

Fran, Harold, and Levi's names were all accompanied by a small red " _X_ ," just as Dia, Jax, and my name were beside a little blue " _O_ " to mark the two groups. It was silent for a moment as everyone took in the blueprint. I nodded to myself. It was a good plan. If we encountered Titans, the outer members (Harold and Fran) could team up and able to take them out themselves, with the inner members (Jax and Dia) easily accessible for backup. If Levi was at the front, he could spot any abnormal threat to the formation and either send specific orders back or take care of it himself without having to stray too far from the squad. With me at the back, I could take out any Titan that proved too strong for/got past the central members or come to Levi's side if called. However, something about the set-up bothered me.

"Hey, Ackerman," I said thoughtfully. "I've got both Dia and Jax with me. If Fran and Harold end up busy with a kill and my team has to go take out a different Titan, I don't want both the rookies having to take one on themselves."

Levi looked mildly annoyed with my protest, but considered it all the same. "Fine. What's your idea."

It wasn't so much a question rather than a challenge. I pointed down at the drawing, moving my finger between the two teams. "Swap one of the veterans with a rookie. That way, no matter which team is fighting, neither of the recruits are without some sort of protection."

"We didn't join the military to be protected." Dia snarked.

I glared at her briefly. "I don't think you joined to be dead either."

Levi thought for a moment and pulled the parchment to him. Wordlessly, he scratched out Harold and Jax's names, swapping their positions. (And if his lack of argument wasn't a huge confidence boost, I'd eat my shoe.) Levi rolled the parchment back up and faced us. "I want a full track-drill in this formation. Martin, Stronghold, you're with me. Trazzer, Frosche, you're under Bently's charge. I want this run under ten minutes."

We nodded, shooting off into the trees. I took my place at the rear of the group and looked forward to find my team. Harold was perfectly in position, ahead of me to my right but still within my sights. Dia was almost correct, but I'd let her know her later to be closer to me, since I'd sometimes lose sight of her behind trees. We reached the end of the track very quickly, the formation having worked nearly flawlessly, and all anchored onto a tree at the finish line.

Levi glared back at us. "9:28." A small cheer rippled through the squad but Levi grunted, rendering us silent. "You all can do better. I want everyone here at 0400 hours tomorrow."

Harold yelled in protest, earning himself a turn cleaning the stables that night, as the rest of us groaned quietly. Why did he have to be such an asshole.

We all watched unhappily as Levi readied himself to fire his gear down to the grass. An idea struck me and I acted fast, firing down my own grapple about an inch away from where his was airborne and then shooting another to hit his directly. The wires clanged and then tangled, knocking his grapple from the air and into a much higher spot than Levi had aimed. I held in my laughter and fired again to get myself to a safe distance as Levi's gear whirred loudly and he was yanked into the twisted wire and flipped upside down.

The squad stared in shock as Humanity's Strongest Soldier hung upside down from a tree, tangled in his own grapples.

Levi himself looked completely aghast. He blinked as the surprise began to clear and turned his head in my direction.

"Aaand that's my cue!" I yelled as I swung down to the ground and took off towards HQ.

The last thing I heard was Harold's explosion of laughter playing a backtrack for Levi's string of swears that were directed at my retreating form.

* * *

I stopped scrubbing briefly, looking at the blackened brush in my grasp and grinning widely.

Worth it.


	9. Whiskey Dipped Reunions

I was just as tense on this mission as I was on my first.

I rode steadily, watching the backs of my teammates protectively as I glanced around for any sign of danger. We'd been riding only for about fifteen minutes, and yet the emptiness of the planes unnerved me. We should have seen _something_ by now.

As if on cue, Levi's blank voice called back for Dia to fire off a flare. She didn't hesitate in shooting off her red cap. Levi gave his orders, sending Jax and Fran off to handle the threat. I furrowed my brows in confusion. Fighting in the plains was never a good bet, seeing as it was the absolute worst environment for 3DMG. I rode a bit to the left, wanting to catch a glimpse of the Titan that had him so worried. There were two, both appearing to be around ten meters. One was standing still, gazing up at the sun with a dopey grin, while the other was walking quickly at a diagonal to us. Understanding, I moved back into position. If we were to leave the advancing Titan alive, there was a chance it could wander past us and into the formation.

Dia glanced back at me. "What about the second one?"

"No," I called up firmly. "That one isn't an immediate threat. We could sneak by it without any issues. Fighting it without full use of our gear is more dangerous than it's worth."

If it were just Harold on my team, I could have left it at the _'No,_ ' and we'd have been fine. Apparently, though, even my explanation wasn't enough for Dia.

She shook her head and drew her blades, throwing me a half-assed glance before positioning for battle. "That's bull. I'm taking it down."

Anger and panic tightened my chest. " _No_ , Dia! Do not leave your spot, that is an order!"

She ignored me, riding towards the second Titan. I let out a shout of frustration and chased after her, shouting out a minimally worded explanation to Levi. Dia grappled into the Ten's shoulder, swinging up to put it down.

"Dia! Dia you can't approach from that side!"

Either she was ignoring me or the wind was drowning out my warnings. I expect it was the former. To my prediction, the Titan turned its head just as she neared it and opened its mouth wide. Dia's movements froze, her line still swinging her forward and on a straight path into the Titan's waiting mouth.

 _Fuck it._

I balanced on two feet on my horse's back and leaped into the air before firing a grapple up and into the Titan's far shoulder. I aimed my swing just right in order to snatch Dia from the air. Her line unhooked and I used the momentum to drop down onto the Ten's head. I dropped Dia into a shaking heap before stepping off the blonde Titan's head and yanking my blades up and through its nape.

Before it tipped, I hauled Dia over my shoulder and flew back in the direction of the squad. Levi had halted their movement, awaiting our return with an unreadable expression. I landed at a jog and ran right up into the center of my team, harshly dropping Dia onto the grass. Her eyes were still clouded in fear, her body trembling. She looked over at me and blinked. The sight of my enraged scowl must have cleared her head, because she immediately scrunched her face up in realization.

"What the fuck was that, Frosche?" Levi growled lowly.

She glanced at him and faltered, a red flush creeping up her neck. She turned back to me, glaring defensively. "I _had_ it under control."

I clenched my fists. How could someone be so stubborn. " _Under control_?! If _anyone_ was in _control_ , it was the fucking Ten that, if not for me, would be shitting your 'valedictorian' ass out by tomorrow's breakfast!" I scoffed and turned. "You deal with this, Ackerman. I'm going to get the horses."

I turned back to where we had left our rides, fuming. Once I was a safe distance away, I let out a shaky breath, raising my trembling hand to my face. What the fuck was Erwin thinking. I never wanted to be in charge of this girl. I knew right from the start that she wasn't right for this. And now, I had another out of place soldier to deal with.

If Dia died, it was on me.

Just like ** _she_ **was.

* * *

The ride back was fairly quiet, but the Legion was in much higher spirits than was usual for mission returns. The mission had gone well this time, our casualties at a record low.

Speaking of casualties, Dia hadn't said much of anything the whole ride home, only responding when addressed by Levi; even then, she only used a word or two. I, having returned to my usual cheery self, found this to be a blessing, however.

As we passed the gates, Jax rode up beside me. "Hey, Nyx. Some of the guys from MHB are gonna try and stop by the gates to greet us. A friend of mine said they were gonna bring Asi by."

I beamed at him. "Wait, but isn't he supposed to be in physical therapy?"

Jax shrugged. "I don't know, I guess they got permission from Dr. Jeager; decided to bring him by to see us come back."

I chuckled. Asi's admiration for the Survey Corps had only grown as he got older. Since I'd made my deal with Erwin in order to pay for his care, I had taken to making monthly visits to see how my brother was doing. It wasn't much, but a day or two every few weeks was the most I could afford to take off.

Asi had still been able to come visit me every so often (He had quickly become the main object of affection for all of the women at HQ) but, when he was about seven, his health had declined to the point that Dr. Jeager insisted he stay stationary. It hadn't been difficult to convince me. Even with the treatment Asi was receiving, his legs had begun to lose mobility as his blood began to clot.

My last visit to him had me glowing in pride, though. Finally allowed out of bed, the eight year old had surprised me at the door in his wheelchair, even going so far as to challenge me to a race (which I had "accidentally" tripped at the end of, ending in his victory). The thought that my baby brother was strong enough to make a trip like this made me happier than I could express.

Wall Maria came into view as I sped up to ride beside Erwin at the front. He chuckled at my eagerness as we waited for the gates to rise. "Impatient, are we?"

I smiled brightly, shrugging. I didn't have to say anything. There was only one thing in the world that could make me this happy. A thing that, as we passed through the wall and into the streets, was plopped onto a crate stacked high above the crowds and waving wildly at me from afar. I laughed in pride to see him there and sped up my horse to a light trot.

Jumping off of my steed, I reached up and plucked my brother from his seat, swinging him around in the air before settling him on my shoulders. He laughed and latched himself onto my head to keep from falling. Asi leaned over my head, facing me upside down and pecked me on the cheek. "Welcome home, big sis."

I almost started bawling right then and there, but pinched myself sharply to keep it together. "Good to be back." I smiled, blowing a kiss up at where he was situated on my shoulders.

He scrunched up his nose, leaning back. "Eeeww! You smell nasty!"

I feigned offense. "Nasty, huh?" I pulled him off of my shoulders and carried him under one arm like a sack of potatoes. "That's pretty rude, man. Maybe you should apologize."

He struggled, laughing."NEVER!"

I reached my other hand over to tickle him, walking to where Fran was greeting her son, who had joined the Garrison a few years back. "Oh, well. I guess I'll just have to _torture_ it out of you."

Fran and her son turned my way as Asi let out a shriek, both of them grinning along with me. " _Okay_! I'm sorry!"

"Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry - _EEEEK_ \- I'm sorry for calling you gross!"

"And..."

"And it won't happen again!"

"Because..."

" _EEEEEK_! Because you're a beautiful lady that should be treated with respect!"

I chuckled, setting him down on the bench by the wall. "Good enough."

He sighed in relief before smirking up at me. "Heh, _not_!"

I shook my head fondly, sitting down beside him and ruffling his hair. My squad was stopped a few yards away waiting for me and Fran to finish saying hello to our families. I turned back to Asi with a smile. "So, what's up man? I was gonna ride out to see you first thing in the morning. How come you decided to come here this time around?"

Asi's head shot up. "I-I still want you to come tomorrow!" He said quickly. At my raised eyebrow, he looked down and nodded before meeting my eyes once more, determined. "I came to ask you something. _And_ to show you that I can do it."

I tilted my head. "Well, what did you want to ask me?"

He took a deep breath. "I just turned eight, right?"

"Right." I nodded.

"And when I'm eight, I'm not counted as a little kid anymore."

I sighed at him lightly. "Come on, Asi, stop being around the bush."

Asikah swallowed and set his face in determination. "I want to start pre-training drills."

I blinked. "What?"

"When you turn eight, the man who owns MHB-"

"Commander Shadis,"

"-will let you into a pre-training program that teaches you the...basics."

I hummed thoughtfully. "The basics of what?"

Asi shifted, flicking his eyes down.

Oh. He didn't want me to ask that.

"Like procedures and flare meanings and things...written stuff."

I frowned deeply. " _Asikah_."

He flinched and looked up. "Yeah?"

"Do not lie to me."

Asi sighed, looking away guiltily. "It teaches how to fight..like the basics of the wirey-thing-"

"3DM Gear,"

"-and how to balance in it..."

I sighed as his voice trailed off quietly. I placed my hands on his shoulders to turn him towards me. "Asi. I know how important this is to you," His eyes lit up in hope. "But, you just got out of your wheelchair this month. You need to give it more time."

Asi stomped his foot. "But, I don't have more time! I'm eight right now! I'm not gonna be eight _again_!"

I crossed my arms. "What did Dr. Jeager say about this?"

He shrugged, looking down sadly. "He said to talk to you. It's your permission I need, anyhow..."

I took in his crestfallen expression and sighed. "Look, froggie," He relaxed a bit at the old nickname. "I know you want to become a soldier, and you don't know how incredibly proud I am of you for that, but you have to give these things time."

He glared at me, jumping to his feet. "Well, you'd know all about time!"

I paused. Dread crept up my stomach. "What does _that_ mean?"

Resentment flashed in his eyes as he stomped his feet. "It's been so long since you've even come to see me! Why should you get any say in this?!"

I stood as well, placing my hands on my hips. "Because I'm your sister and your guardian."

"Some sister! Dr. Jeager's been there more than you ever have!"

Ouch. Low blow.

I pursed my lips. "Asi, you know I've done as much as I can-"

 **"Since when?!"**

His shout called the attention of some of the crowd. In the corner of my eye, I saw my squad looking over curiously. I really needed to calm this situation down.

I dropped onto one knee, kneeling down to his height. "Asi," I started soothingly. "We need to just give your body a little more time to heal. The Commander doesn't know your limits. If I gave my permission and you got hurt, I would never forgive myself."

"Yourself! That's all you think about!" He wailed.

I bit my lip, blocking out the pain those words caused in my chest. "Once you're a bit healthier, I'll even take some time off and come teach you myself. That way, you get to learn, I know you're safe, and we get to spend some time together." It sounded like a fair compromise to me.

"No! I don't even _want_ to see you!"

"Asi-"

"You know, you claim to hate mom so much and yet," Asi cried harder, screaming in my face. "You look like her! You act like her!

 **You _leave_ like her**."

The air was sucked from my lungs, leaving me floundering for a way to speak. Dots of color danced in my vision as I struggled to raise my eyes back up to meet his. He stood there expectantly, waiting for my response.

"Go with Fran. Go home. You aren't doing this."

"Why can't I just-"

 **"GO!"**

Asi let out an angry whine, turning and storming off into the crowd. Fran glanced at me in concern, but quickly followed after him, trailed closely by her son.

The crowd had gone quiet, staring as The Legacy made a complete fool of herself. Dia made a disgusted cough, glaring in my direction. "Fucking bitch. Who treats their kid that way?"

I took two steps back, numbly turning and getting onto the first horse I came to, not caring who's it was.

I kept my head bowed as I rode out of town and to HQ, leaving behind a trail of tears rather than breadcrumbs.

* * *

 **3rd Person**

Levi was sitting absolutely still, staring a hole through the paperwork on his desk. They'd gotten back to Headquarters four or five hours ago. By now, the sun had gone down and the building had gone quiet.

Finally fed up with the ache in his pen hand, Levi pushed out of his chair and grabbed the stack of papers. If he had to worry about this half of the job, so did Bently. Even if he had to drag her ass out of bed.

Levi left his office and trudged grumpily outside to the women's cabins. Her cabin had definitely seen better days, the boards appearing aged and splintered. He made a mental note to make Bently clean it up sometime.

The stoic soldier stomped up the stairs, hoping the sound would wake her lazy ass up to save him the trouble, and headed for the door. When he reached it, he paused. On the door, hung a list. The paper was weatherworn and faded, barely readable. If Levi didn't recognize the words, he couldn't have understood it. But, he never forgot a soldier's name. Not when he was the one writing the death certificates.

Cabin 2

Harlie Amberson - Lyra Stenzon

Natsu Arc - Mindley Worring

Trea Figgly - Gemmabell Miaha

Onyx Bently - Emilee Mora

Estefania Delores - Noel Hickory

Levi studied the names. Something seemed to shift in him as he recognized each one. They were good soldiers, most of them anyway. And he remembered the exact day that each one of them died.

Shaking it off, he threw open the door, letting it bang against the back wall.

"Oi, Bently. Wake the fuck up."

An empty cabin greeted him.

Frowning, he turned back the way he came, thinking up where the woman could be at this time of night. His irritation grew tenfold as he checked the bathrooms and even the stables without success. He was fuming by this point. Where the hell could she -

He thought back to that dramatic stunt from earlier, rolling his eyes. He didn't catch the entire story, finding the whole situation uninteresting. Just a couple brats throwing brat fits. Bently didn't show up for the debriefing with Erwin either, though.

Levi's scowl deepened. The brat was probably off pouting somewhere. He was way too tired to deal with that. Or so his mind said. As he was thinking these thoughts, though, his feet came to a stop at the base of a steep hill.

Levi looked up and sighed exasperatedly. Upon the hill were two square shadows ( _gravestones_ , his mind so helpfully supplied) and a slumped form of a person.

Levi marched up the hill, irritation growing with every step, but screeched to a stop as he took in the sight before him.

Bently was propped up against one of the graves, her eyes dazed and locked on the stars as a bottle hung loosely from her hand. Her skin was pale and covered in goosebumps from the chilled air of January. She didn't move a muscle as he approached.

"What are you doing up here?" Levi grunted.

She flicked her eyes over to him, smiling brightly. "Wha're _you_ doing up here?"

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

"I'm your boss."

"You're an asshole."

"That's irrelevant; answer the question."

Bently threw her head back and roared with laughter, causing Levi to scowl once again. She raised the nearly empty bottle triumphantly. "Havin' a drink wissome friends!" She slurred.

Levi blinked boredly. "You don't drink."

She snorted and looked away. "Oh, yeah. Cause you know _sooooo_ much 'bou me."

"I know you're a loudmouthed brat who needs to stop feeling sorry for herself."

Bently froze in surprise, glancing over at him. Seeing his regular disinterested scowl, she sighed and slumped back down into a ball, her voice growing quiet. "Maybe I don't wan' to."

Levi sighed. He normally would have turned around right then and there to leave the person to throw their pity party on their own. However, something kept him rooted to the spot. He looked down at her as she pulled absently on the ends of her sleeves, pain evident in her eyes and made his choice, lowering himself down to sit beside her.

She looked up at him in surprise but he didn't acknowledge her, instead choosing to sweep the bottle from her grasp and take a sip himself. He paused, recognizing the taste. "Where did you get this?"

She grinned. "From your office."

"Tch."

Silence passed between them as they both stared up at the sky.

Bently looked down at her lap. "My mom left. When I was nine." She muttered. Levi glanced at her as she paused. "My dad had died about...five or six months 'fore? They'd been super lovin' and all when they were together, but," Bently snatched the bottle back from him. "She was fuckin' around behind his back. I know it. Cause it was only a coupla weeks after she had Asi, tha' she up an' left." Bently took a swig, scrunching her face at the taste. "I freaked out. Didn't really know what to do. I raised that kid myself, stuck out on the streets." She shrunk in on herself, scratching absently at the label on the bottle. "I remember this one time. I was, like...eleven? Asi was real' little. We were hunkered down in this ol' shed out on the edge of some rich guy's estate. It was gettin' colder, an' I was worryin' about keepin' a roof over us." She scratched her forehead, an action Levi knew she'd do when she was feeling guilty. "There were these guys, couple years older than me, tryin'a break in. Probably gonna do something to us. Somethin' not good.

"I had boarded up all the windows an' things, tryin' to keep 'em out...but they just kept comin'. So I took off my jacket and put it over Asi, sang him to sleep real quick, an' met 'em outside. One of 'em pulled knife on me...I put it through his throat." Levi wan't so surprised. By the time he was eleven, he needed _both_ hands to count the number of people he'd killed. "That was that. They ran away after. Asi and I lived there 'nother two months."

She fell silent, drawing Levi's eyes once more. Under the moonlight, she looked smaller, more fragile. He didn't like it, almost preferring it when she was being loud and angry.

He looked away from her, pretending to be interested in dusting off his sleeve cuff. "You're a pretty shitty sister," He announced. Her face fell even farther and her grip on the bottle tightened. "But, you aren't a bad mom."

Her eyes lit up. "Really?"

Levi rolled his eyes, standing and turning away from her. "Whatever. Just fucking go to sleep before you get constipated."

And, with that, he turned and left her beaming like an idiot on a hill, the papers in his hand entirely forgotten.


	10. Why Fran Isn't Allowed A Budget

_**IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE!**_

 **Okay, before you yell at me - YES I did delete my original chapter ten "A Cure For The Senses." Not a great writing strategy, I know, but I was reading through it this morning in order to do some more writing when I decided that I didn't like the way it flowed with the rest of my story. It's a plotline that I like so I might use it later or in one of my other fics, but it will not be included at this point in time. I'm very very sorry. I did keep the beginning of the chapter, though. I liked it.**

 **Here's a short and happy filler chapter to segway into my regularly scheduled program.**

* * *

 **1st Person - Onyx**

I woke up the next morning with both a splitting headache and an urge to split my head.

Did I remember last night?

Oh boy, oh boy, did I!

Did I feel like throwing myself out of a five story window to crack onto the pavement like a six week old watermelon?

Oh boy, oh boy, I did.

I groaned, pulling my covers over my head to block out the morning light. Why the shit did Emilee have to choose the only bunk with a window? My mind flashed back to the conversation last night and I suddenly had the urge to throw up. From regret or the jug of whiskey swirling in my stomach, I had no clue, but one of them was definitely not making my day any better.

Was it the law of the drinkers that getting wasted will just inevitably leave you physically crippled the following day?

I'd have to ask Hanji some time.

I was just starting to float to sleep when there was a loud pounding at my door. I groaned, which the visitor apparently took as permission to enter as they slammed my door open. "Rise and shine, cupcake! It's a brand new da- HEY! WATCH IT- OKAY OKAY I'M LEAVING! JESUS!"

I threw the final boot at Harold, sighing in relief as he ran out the door. I slumped back onto my bed and drifted off.

And then suddenly I was crashing to the floor.

I yelped, face planting, and whirled around. Jax and Harold stood behind my bunk, which they had tilted onto its side, with enormous grins in place. Grins which, upon realizing my homicidal intent, instantly vaporized.

"Run!" Harold shouted, dropping his end of the bed. The other leg slammed down onto Jax's foot, causing him to fall and yell in pain. I rose to my feet, a murderous glint in my eye, and stood over him as he desperately scrambled away, crawling towards the door.

"HEEEEEEELLPP!"

* * *

"What, Fran?"

She turned to me, beaming.

"Nyx! I'm going into town. Come with me."

I crossed my arms, tilting my head quizzically.

"Why?"

"Because I want you to." She tsked. "Besides, since you decided not to go into Trost today,"

I flinched guiltily.

"You can help me haul my bags back home!" She chirped.

I blinked owlishly. "What are you planning on buying that you can't carry yourself?"

"Groceries mostly." She looked me up and down with a smirk. "Although...Getting you some new clothes wouldn't hurt." She sniggered as she strode out the cabin door.

I paused.

"W-Wait! What's that supposed to mean?!"

* * *

I sighed, letting my head fall heavily onto the counter in the little shop. "I'm sorry..." I groaned.

The man behind the counter just chuckled, propping his chin on his hand. "Don't even sweat it. We get three like her a day."

I blinked tiredly at him and looked back at my mentor. "Somehow I doubt that."

Fran was shooting from wall to wall, sifting excitedly through the racks of different colored dresses and skirts, leaving nothing short of a catastrophe in her wake. She suddenly stopped, holding a blue cotton dress into the air triumphantly.

"OOH! Nyx I found it! This is the one!"

I almost cried in relief, waving a hand at her. "That's great, Fran."

She grinned and looked down at her discovery, only to scowl. "Wait, wait. No, this one's a cross stitch. I can't have that." And with that she stuffed the dress back into its pile and continued to toss unsatisfactory clothing behind her as she searched.

I let out a load groan and slammed my head back onto the counter. The man before me laughed. "Is this a usual process for her?"

My head lolled back. "You have no idea. Last June she spent an entire week deciding what boots to buy. In the end she just ended up repainting her old ones with black ink."

He laughed. "Well, what fits fits, right?"

"HEY! NYX! WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE- oh. no nevermind. I want something a little less blue. Like, maybe a shade greyer. Or greener, y'know? I'm sure we'll find it eventually."

* * *

"Nyx, hold this." Fran ordered as she pushed a crate into my arms.

I peered over the top, irritation ticking at my forehead. "Fran, what exactly do you need with an entire crate of apples?"

"For the men."

"That's what the cafeteria is for."

"For the horses."

"We aren't allowed to treat them anymore, remember?"

"Hold this." She cut me off, dropping another crate on top of the apples. I staggered under the weight, swaying dangerously.

"Fran? Fran! FRAN IT'S GONNA-"

 ***CRASH***

 ***CRASH***

 ***PLOP***

 ***PLOP***

 ***PLOP***

"...ow"

* * *

"Jesus Christ, Fran. Put the rake down."

"No, I want to use it."

"Use it where?"

"The courtyard."

"There's a crew that rakes the courtyard."

"Well, clearly they aren't doing it well enough."

"Fran, you sound like the asshole."

"Sometimes he has a point."

"I'm gonna pretend I didn't just hear that." I sighed, pulling the rake from her grasp and returning it to its rack.

Fran crossed her arms. "Well, I want to buy something."

"Why do you have to buy something everywhere we go?"

"Because everything has a use."

"Not everything has a _necessary_ use."

"..."

"..."

"How about a grill?"

* * *

We strode up to HQ near sunset. I walked slowly up the stairs only to be met by Jax's grinning face.

"Hey! How was your day off?"

"..."

"...?"

"..."

"..Nyx?"

"I sure hope I die tomorrow."


End file.
